Oh wow..I'll never forget this day. I'll forever treasure this date.
Gabriel and I are now Engaged.
Thank you baby for the Love, care, trust and understanding that you are giving me.. You are someone worth keeping. And I'm so thankful for having you as my boyfriend and future husband. You are always there whenever I need someone to make me feel safe and warm. You are my best friend, my savior, my counterpart, my life.
" I just can't imagine living my life without you. "
" Baby, always remember that, you are the only woman that I will ask to marry me. Whatever happened, You and I will get married. We'll raise our children, & grow old together. This ring symbolizes our never ending love. I love you baby, will you marry me?"
Oh wow.. I was stunned. But ofcourse, I accepted his proposal :)
I'm so happy baby. Thank you very much! I love you!!
Pag ayaw mo na..BUHAY.. isang malaking pala isipan..
Kailan mo masasabing tama lahat ng ginagawa mo at wala kang pag kukulang sa isang tao?
Kailan mo masasabing naiintindihan mo ang isang bagay na di mo kayang tanggapin?
Kailan mo masasabing 'kaya ko pa' ?
Kailan mo masasabing nag mamahal ka ng totoo at walang kapalit?Ang pag ibig, laging may kasamang malawakang pag iintindi at pag sasakripisyo.
Pero kailan mo nga ba masasabing " kailangan ko pang mag patuloy.. " kung sya ang nag bibigay ng dahilan para bumitaw at tuluyan ng lumayo?
Handa kang gawin lahat ng bagay para sa kanya, handa kang isakripisyo yung mga importanteng bagay sa buhay mo, handa kang harapin lahat ng taong hadlang sa pag mamahalan nyo. Pero ano nga bang mapapala mo?
Dahil minsan, kahit gaano pa kadaming pag sasakripisyo ang ginagawa mo para sa taong yun, hindi ka pa rin nya mapahalagahan. Iiyak ka nalang, ikaw pa rin ang talo. Nakakainis noh? Kung sino pa yung nagmamahal ng lubos sya pa yung umuuwing talo. Ano pa ang silbi ng pangako kung alam mo ding masisira lang din ito?
Ano pa ang silbi ng pag papatawad kung di rin mapaninindigan ang mga sinabi mong " di na mauulit ".
May mga nag sasabing ayaw kang mawala, pero di ka naman maalagaan ng tama..
Lagi nilang sinasabing di nila kayang mawala ka, pero di ka maalagaan ng tama. Gustuhin mo mang magpatuloy, kaya lang minsan pakiramdam mo, parang useless din lahat ng pag iintindi at pag hihintay mo, lalo na't di mo na halos maramdaman ang presensya ng taong mahal mo.
Gaano ba kasakit mag hintay sa wala?
Alam mo kung gaano?
Para ka lang naman nag hihintay ng jeep na byaheng quezon city sa terminal ng MRT.
Mahirap bang mainitindihan yung salitang "PAHINGI NAMAN NG KONTING ORAS MO?"
Lagi ka nalang nasasaktan sa di malamang dahilan.. Nakakapagod na din minsan. Paulit ulit nalang.. palagi nalang. Kahit anu namang sabihin ko sayo di mo maiintindihan diba? Pwede ako muna? Krimen bang bigyan mo ko ng konting oras? Pag intindi naman dyan ohh.. un lang kailangan ko.
I'm gonna be on HIATUS, that's why I'm not able to blog about the things and creeps that is happening in my life. But I promise to share all of those stories when I come back. Maybe next month.
I'm sooooopeer busy in school. So many reports and research works. Anyway, college is more fun and exciting because of my new school, course, classmates, professors, and environment.
Ok, I'll share some new tidbits bout my lovelife.
I hate the times when life gets unpredictable.
We are now facing a new challenge and I hope this pain won't last until tomorrow. He loves me, and I can feel it seriously. I can totally feel the warmth of his love.
I know we can surpass these trials.
I am now working as an attendant in our internet cafe, and I'm so glad coz I'm able na to earn my own money and save for my personal needs. I also have a good time management na *clap**clap*
Oh my.. I hope everything will be ok soon.
here's the stories that I'll share when I come back:
that's all cupcakes! Have a great week !! :D
Stay updated.. visit me @ flavors.me
Naiintindihan mo ba?
May mga pangyayaring hindi natin lubos na maintindihan kung bakit natin nararanasan sa kabila ng ating pag sasakripisyo at pagiging tapat.
Hindi masamang umasa lalo na't nakakaramdam tayo ng tuwa at saya sa tuwing nakakasama natin ang taong akala natin ay para satin na. Minsan nga, di mo pa maramdaman na umaasa ka. Kasi ang tanging nararamdaman mo lang ay kaligayan sa tuwing nariyan sya. Di naman kasi mapigilan ang puso pag ito na ang nag desisyon, lalo na kung pati ang isip mo ay under control na nito. Ang nagiging importante lang sayo ay yung nararamdaman mo, nababalewala na ang realidad.
Hindi masamang makaramdam ng selos kahit wala kayong commitment oh ano pa man yan.
Dumadating na sa puntong niloloko na natin ang sarili natin. Pinapaniwala natin ang sarili natin sa mga bagay na di totoo. Tayo nalang ang nag iisip na mahal na nila tayo kahit hindi naman.
Minsan, dapat nating isipin kung may mga tao ba tayong masasaktan, kung may mga inosenteng puso ba tayong matatapakan, kung may mga pagkatao ba tayong madudungisan. Sa pag ibig, hindi lang puso ang pinapairal, dapat pati isip gumagana.
Ano bang mapapala natin kung pipilitin natin ang isang tao para mahalin tayo? Pinapatunayan lang natin lalo sa sarili natin at sa ibang tao ang pagiging selfish natin. Diba mas masarap sa pakiramdam kung mahal ka nya dahil yun ang nararamdaman nya, kesa sa paniwalain mo ang sarili mo sa kasinungalingang mahal ka rin nya? Nakakainis pa minsan dahil may mga taong nag sasabing " Niloko mo lang ako, pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa ko." Pero ang totoo, ikaw ang tunay na nanloko sa sarili mo dahil sa paniniwalang Mahal ka rin ng taong minamahal mo.
Kung alam mo ang tunay na kahulugan ng pagmamahal, maiinitindihan mo ang mga bagay na hindi kayang intindihin ng ibang tao. Maiintindihan mo kahit ang mga pinaka masasakit na salita na kakambal na ng pagmamahal. Maiinitindihan din natin ang tama at hindi. Kung tunay kang nag mamahal, alam mo kung kailan ka dapat magpatuloy, tumigil, umiwas o makipag laban.
Minsan na rin akong umasa, minsan na rin akong naniwala sa kasinungalingang magiging kami hanggang sa huli, minsan na rin akong naging masaya dahil sa maling akala, minsan na rin akong nagkamali. At alam ko kung gaano kahirap magparaya ng taong mahal na mahal mo. Oo, syempre sa una mahirap tanggapin ang katotohanan. Mahirap tanggapin na yung minsan mong minahal, mawawala na sayo ng tuluyan. Pero natuto akong magparaya, hindi dahil sa mahal ko sya, kundi dahil naisip ko na kahit anung gawin ko, hindi ako yung taong makakapag pasaya sa kanya ..
Akala ko nuon, di na ko magiging masaya. Sobra akong nag crave sa tunay na pagmamahal. Maraming gustong mag bigay ngunit tila laging may kulang..
Sabi nila sakin, marami pang iba dyan. Oo, tama sila marami pa nga. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na isa lang talaga yung mamahalin ko ng totoo at lubos lubos. Sya yung taong kasama ko ngayon :)
Afraid to love again
Love comes and it goes. Love is putting down any barriers and letting someone inside of your heart. It takes courage to give someone your heart and trust them with it. Many of us become afraid of putting our heart out there especially if it’s been torn apart in a previous relationship.
You just leaved me off the ground
I wanna leave the old cry baby Aela in the past. A lot of things happened these past few days, and thanks to that miserable days. Because of that, I've realized so much things. Things that must be left behind and buried for good.
Well, I am pretty tired of wasting my time on those fellas whose ruining and spreading some shi*s in my life.
I don't need to listen to those heart breaking and irritating lies. I just can't barely understand why there are some people who keeps on forcing themselves on someone who is already happy and committed. They're just wasting their time. It really puzzles me. They don't get any benefit at all.
I hope one day, they'll realize what are they doing. I can't blame them, for they are also inlove. We are all inlove with the same man. And the difference is, this man loves me.
I was paranoid.
That's why I feel so sorry for myself.
I know, he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. I'm always thinking and imagining random things these past few night, that's why I always ending up crying in pain. I hate the tears.. I hate the times when my mind is over occupied with negative thoughts. Then after that, I just find myself looking in the mirror and blaming my heart for making me feel that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Sometimes when we are talking on the phone, tears will just fell off my cheeks. Don't know why, all I know is my heart wants to scream something.
My heart is suffering in pain. But as you can see, I'm not the type of person that will share what I really feel.
It's not that, I don't wanna share it because I don't trust my friends nor my family, I just don't want them to worry. They are also busy with their lives and I don't wanna receive any special treatment from them.
Luckily I have a boyfriend who always understands me. Even If I remain silent.
Awkward situations are increasing. That's why I decided that I should be aware. Before it strikes again, and kill her beloved Aela.
I am feeling intense pain..
I wanna scream to death..
I wanna sleep but my heart still begs for some respect.
I am jailed..
My mind is full of unanswered questions.
Enough.. I'm done..
Coffee MadnessAs you all know,
I'm going to take up Bachelor of Science in Hotel and Restaurant Management this coming semester.
Why? simply coz I realized that Information Technology doesn't suit my personality and though I have high grades on programming and my other subjects, still I am not satisfied with what I am doing.
I found myself more dedicated on cooking and management.
Then, here's the drama.
One morning I woke up having the passion on creating different kinds of coffee and pastries. I wanna learn how to turn a nice cup of coffee into a coffee that can be more interesting by adding a touch of art on it. I wanna travel around the globe to see and to taste different kinds of coffees. I also want to open my very own coffee shop here in the Philippines.
I'm also planning to study being a barista. I wanna learn how to effectively prepare a desired cup of coffee for my customers.
And yes, before I reach those dreams. I have to read a lot of books, containing the history of coffee and cupcakes, different kinds and the likes :)
I hope 5 or 7 years from now, I have learned the basic facts of how to create a perfect coffee that will satisfy my customers. I would also like it to be too pretty to be eaten or drank. Taking a picture of my creation before chowing down would make me really proud!
I am so excited to start my career in making coffees.
Oh well, It is free to dream darlin'
I'll study harder to pursue my dreams. I want to do so much things before Gab & I get married.
One thing.. one of the reason why I want to be successful is because, I want my Dad & Mom to see that I am responsible enough in handling a business of my own. I don't wanna let them down. I don't want them to be disappointed. Secondly, of course It is also for my future husband :) We've talked about it, and then we came up with this brilliant idea. Siguro 5 years from now, we are able na to open our new business. My boyfriend told me that he also want to open a coffee shop.
WOW!! I hope maging successful kami sa aming career :)
You all know naman how much I love my boyfriend.
I want to spend my whole life with him. I don't want any other guy. For me he is the one. And I'm pretty sure about that. He's one of my inspirations in life. How I wish my dad could see us building our dreams. I know he'll be happy for us.
And before I end this post. I just found out that our classes will start this coming Nov. 08, 2010. Di pa ko nakaka enroll!! haha :D
Wish me luck sa aking new path.
A RUN FOR THE PASIG RIVER !!
Oo, sumama din kami dyan sa fun run na yan for our very own Pasig River,
Oo teh.. mag contribution din ako jan noh. Ang hirap takbuhin ng 5 km. Sarap pakinggan pag di mo pa natatakbo. Hay na ko, 2 km pa nga lang yata hiningal na ko.
Well eto ang simula ng kwento:
12:30 am ako nagising nung 10.10.10
di dahil sa nag alarm ako. Tumawag nun si Gab kaya nagising na din ako. Syempre ang ganda nanaman ng araw ko, madaling araw pa lang buo na. Then, ayun suppose to be 2:30 am nandun na kami sa school. Eh napasarap yung usapan namin ni Gab kaya mga 1:30 na ko nakaligo. Buti nalang walang traffic kaya wala pang 1 hour nasa Quezon City na ko.
Pag dating sa STI, hinanap ko muna mga classmates ko. Sayang nga dahil di nakasama si Imman that time.Pero buti nalang nandun sila Wena & Jhen. Aga aga nga puro agad kami kalokohan. Ang dami kasing gwapo ang nag sulputan sa school. Kaya tuwang tuwa ang bestfriend kong si Wena.
Inis na inis na ang mga classmates ko kasi tuwing may bus na available, di pa kami pinapasakay kaya nag biruan kami na mag ordinary bus nalang. hehehe :p
Tapos after 1 hour nakasakay din kami. Di naman inda yung oras dahil puro halakhakan that day.
Pag sakay sa bus, kanya kanyang trip pa rin. Pero siguro after 15 mins tumahimik na kami nila Wen. Naidlip muna kami, sobrang traffic sa may CCP complex. Tapos mga 5:30 na ata kami nakatakbo. HAHAHA!!
Isa sa mga reason kung bakit ako sumali sa fun run for Pasig.. Kasi syempre, para makatulong upang gumanda o mabuhay muli ang kagandahan ng river na yun then pangalawa for experience na rin. First time ko kasing sumali sa isang fun run. Saka para dagdag na din sa good times ko sa STI diba? Bonding na din.
Kuha namin after ng malawakang takbuhan sa MOA
Ako at si bespren Wena (how sweet)
Uwian na yan.. napagod kami ng bonggang bongga,
halata namang pagod kami ni Wena diba?
Yan.. isa sya sa mga pinag kaguluhan ng mga girls sa FUN RUN..
ka gwapong bata :)
nawala pagod namin ni Wena lalo na nung kinawayan nya ko.. hihi :p
Lord, I'm Coming Home To StayLuke 15:20 (NLT)
So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.
James McDonald writes, "Maybe you've done something you think is beyond God's mercy, or someone has hurt you and you don't understand why God let it happen... maybe you're tired of parental guidance and you'd rather live by your own rules. I don't know why you are running, but I know one thing, you are tired. You're so used to this flight pattern you can't imagine life differently. Jesus talked about a son taking of from his dad's house where he had a room, unlimited food supply, a washing machine, cable tv, the works. After this runner's rise and fall, he woke up one day in a pig sty wondering, 'How'd I get here? I need to go back but what'll my dad say?' Have you ever thought, 'If I come back. how will God receive me?' Some people think He wouldn't care one way or the other. But that's not how Jesus described His Father, those feet pounding the pavement are God's feet running towards you. He's been scanning the horizon for a glimpse of you, an now He sees you, He's in a full run. 'While he was still a long way off, his father... ran and embraced him. God put that in (The Bible) so every runner will know what to expect when they reverse course."
Are you still running away from God, either because you think He is so mad at you and you worry what He'll say or because you are guilty of something you did, you thought there are more important things that God himself? Stop, turn around and come back home. He is waiting for you and every day ends with Him thinking, "It's okay, I hope my son comes back tomorrow." He'll end up waiting again and never gets tired. Revelations 3:3 (NLT) God said, "Turn to me again." There is no sin He can't forgive, no bondage He can't destroy, no addiction He can't overcome for you and no fear He can't overcome. His promise is, "Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him" (Isaiah 55:7).
It's time to stop, turn around and tell the Lord, "Lord, I'm coming home to stay."
Hold on ok?Good evening..
This will be my last post for this week.
I'm so happy because were ok now. But, as usual. In able for us to have a happily ever after , we must surpass all the trials and challenges that is ahead of us. So glad coz even though my mind is occupied with so much things still, I can manage it. I love my baby so much.
And now, we are facing a new challenge. I know that we can conquer every thing as long as were together. I am his strength, that's why I must not show any signs of losing hope. I don't wanna lose him that's why I'm going to do every thing just to make him healthy and braver.
October 21, 2010 will be the signing
of our clearance..
I hope next week, I can hug my baby again ..
I so miss you baby :)
As of now, I'm not able to take care of you physically. All I can do is to remind you to sleep at least 8 hours a day, to eat plenty of healthy foods, to take up your medicine when you feel that you will be experiencing your allergy again, to rest, to take a break, to smile, to laugh despite of all of the bad things that is happening in our lives, to be brave in times of difficulties and hardships..Don't worry baby, I'm forever here to stay :)
Bear this in mind babe, pag uwi mo di ka na mapapagod, aalagaan kita lalo, di kita papabayaan, I'll comfort you, coz you are my baby, my one & only baby :)
Kaya don't be afraid na ha? I will never ever leave you!!
I love you baby,
Examination WeekGoodmorning :)
This week will be our Final examination week and I'm so thankful because last week I have reviewed some of my notes and handouts na kaya, I'm not having so much difficulties in reviewing. Thanks to all of the things that happened to me this past few days. I have so much stories to tell, but I'm afraid that I am not able to share them this week. Maybe by next week nalang,
Oh my.. I have so much to do pala next week. I'm going to fix my requirements for next semester. Oh my.. But that's good, at least my mind will be occupied with other things that is important.
I don't wanna think of those nonsense things, I don't wanna get affected by those photos and statuses. I'm tired to ask and to blab.
Over & over again..I am happy.. I swear, i'm lying.
Have you felt the feeling of unappreciated? rejected? snob? or abandoned?
It hurts like hell right?
So many words left unspoken and many stories are left untold. I'm used to experiencing things and leaving it as it is. I don't have that ability to carry many loads in my mind and keep it forever there. I am bothered by so many things. And that's the reason why i end up crying in the middle of the night and thinking of how to cure this pain. My heart is overflowing with so much anger,hatred,agony,madness,bitterness,and sadness.
Yes, I felt unappreciated and ignored. Pity me. Why do I have to experience this despite of all the sacrifices and good things that i've done? Why do I have to undergo this kind of hardship? There are so many things that I want to tell you but, sa sobrang dami ng mga bagay na yun, di ko na magawang sabihin dahil naunahan na ko ng mga luha ko.
I want to SCREAM!
Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.I didn't expected that it will be this hard. But like what my mom told me before, expect the unexpected.
My mind is broad and I can understand every single thing, even though my personality is being misjudge by those other girls whose inlove with him. They're making me feel that I am the MISTRESS and the wicked witch in their fairy tale.
He told me that.. I should ignore those creatures nalang but, how can I ignore them if they keep on doing things that kills my heart every single minute of my life? Even though that I am assured that he will never leave me, still I can't ignore this feeling. Nature na ng mga babae ang mag selos.
Di ba pwedeng mabuhay kaming dalawa ng walang nang gugulo? Di ba ko pwedeng mabuhay ng tahimik at walang umaaway? Bakit ako lagi mali huh?? Ako ba dapat yung LAGING UMINTINDI sa mga taong DI NAG IISIP?
Konting hiya naman, ako yung girlfriend. Hindi ako yung nakikisali dito. Hindi ako yung extra. Ako yung may rights. Respeto naman dyan ohh..
Pwede this time ako naman
How I wish people would stop asking if how is for me to be alone because every time they do, I would be reminded that I am really alone.Things change and that's the normal thing. Even if I want other things to stay as they are, I am still aware that sooner or later I will face a reality that could change my life for the better if I choose to let it happen that way. I can't wait for the time that I won't see people who try to ruin my life. Some are doing it intentionally because they just want to turn every arranged thing into a mess while some unintentionally do things that may hurt someone like me.
Oh how I wish I can reformat my brain so I will never be reminded by those kind of people..
It's you I live for everydayI want to change. I want to be closer to God. I hate the times when I envy someone, I hate myself whenever I utter bad words towards my haters and semi - enemies, I hate it when I don't show any sign of respect to my mom, I hate my bad attitudes. I want to change. If you ask my friends, the real ones. They would say that, I am the best. But still sometimes, I admit that I'm being rude to others.
That's why I'm thinking.. Magpa convert kaya ako sa Christian?
Oh God.. Please help this young lady think :)
And from this day on, I'll promise to myself and swear to God that I'll be a better creature !! I'll praise and worship him with all my heart. I'll abandon the old warfreak, silly, Aela. I'll be good as new !!
I'm not doing this just because of Gab. But also for myself and to the Lord too.
I also realized that, what's LIFE without the Lord inside you?
Colossians 3:23" It's you I live for everyday. "
Pagod..OO.. pagod na pagod na ko pag initindi sa mga taong di makaintindi! Di ko naman hiniling na maintindihan nyo lahat ng bagay sa buhay ko, di ako humihiling ng sobra sobrang atensyon sa inyo.
Alam nyo yung mahirap?? Kayo yun.
Lahat nalang ng nakapaligid sakin kung hindi mga plastik, mga naninira. Ano bang problema nyo ha?
Kung wala kayong ibang magawa sa buhay nyo, tantanan nyo ko. Wag nyo ko itulad sa inyo na walang ibang responsibilidad sa buhay.
Kung mag aaway away kayo wala na kong pakielam. Di ko na kayo ipag tatanggol sa mga professors natin. Gagawin ko lang ang responsibilidad ko as the class vice president pero don't EVER expect that I'll help you to clean your fvcking mess!! Masyado kayong nag mamatapang without thinking of the possible consequences then pag napahamak kayo, YOU'll blame us? Me rather?? Foolish a**holes!!
Then now you want to start a fight? Makikipag suntukan kayo ganon? And what's next? Ako ang papagalitan dahil AKO ang responsible sa pag handle sa inyo?
Shit naman.. may UTAK nga wala naman kayong ISIP!!
Ang dame dame nyong dinadamay na tao! Pati mga walang kamalay malay idadamay nyo? Dahil ba damay damay din kayo na maguguidance? Wag nyo ko hintaying mag salita!!
Minsan lang ako mag salita sa inyo, Pero this time asahan nyo.. Pag ang PRIDE ko, tinapakan nyo na, at sumabay pa kayo sa mga problema ko, baka mag sisi kayo at nakilala nyo pa ko!!
At kayo namang mga feelingera kayo, PWEDE ba, wag na kayo sumabay uTANGNA loob!! Palibhasa porket nakikita nyo kong nakangiti kala nyo happy go lucky ako?? Lintek!! Kilalanin mo muna kung sinong kinakatalo mo! Lalo ka ng JEE HAN ka!! Ang tanda tanda mo na pumapatol ka pa sa bata! Ang laki mong BOBO!! Kahit mas ahead ka pa sakin ng sampung taon, di kita uurungan! Ako pa sasabihan mo ng mang aagaw at KABET?? isa kang SHIT!! isa nalang .. isang isa nalang, mang hihiram ka na ng mukha sa DAGA! Ikaw pa may ganang magalit pagkatapos ng mga ginagawa mong pang gugulo? Pinapalabas mo pa, na ikaw ang UNA at TOTOONG girlfriend nya? kapal mo teh, para kang kalyo!! At talagang pinaninindigan mong girlfriend ka nya? NAMO!!
Akala mo ba madaling maging isang Michaela Jong?
Wag nyo ng pangarapin. For i think, i was born to understand idiot people like you! Alam mo ba yung feeling na dapang dapa ka na pero kailangan mo pa din tumayo, di dahil sa gusto mo kundi dahil alam mong maraming umaasa sayo? Wala na kong bagay na nagagawa para sa sarili ko, lahat para sa iba.
Minsan para bang ayoko ng gumising sa umaga, gusto ko nalang matulog ng matulog ng matulog. Wala na kong peace of mind. Ang dami ng bagay na pumapasok sa isip ko, which is di naman nang yayari dati,
Feeling ko, sobrang kawawa na ko. Kaya lahat ng nararamdaman ko dito ko nalang nilalagay at nilalabas.
Hindi alam ni gab toh. Malamang nagtataka na rin sya kung bakit parang tahimik ako nitong mga nakaraang araw.
Di ko na kayang magpanggap ULIT.
Gusto kong sumigaw dahil wala na kong marinig!