Her Missing Lullaby

Oh wow..

2010-12-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

I'll never forget this day. I'll forever treasure this date.

Gabriel and I are now Engaged.

Thank you baby for the Love, care, trust and understanding that you are giving me.. You are someone worth keeping. And I'm so thankful for having you as my boyfriend and future husband. You are always there whenever I need someone to make me feel safe and warm. You are my best friend, my savior, my counterpart, my life.

" I just can't imagine living my life without you. "

" Baby, always remember that, you are the only woman that I will ask to marry me. Whatever happened, You and I will get married. We'll raise our children, & grow old together. This ring symbolizes our never ending love. I love you baby, will you marry me?"

Oh wow.. I was stunned. But ofcourse, I accepted his proposal :)
I'm so happy baby. Thank you very much! I love you!!

Pag ayaw mo na..

2010-11-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

BUHAY.. isang malaking pala isipan..

Kailan mo masasabing tama lahat ng ginagawa mo at wala kang pag kukulang sa isang tao?

Kailan mo masasabing naiintindihan mo ang isang bagay na di mo kayang tanggapin?

Kailan mo masasabing 'kaya ko pa' ?

Kailan mo masasabing nag mamahal ka ng totoo at walang kapalit?

Ang pag ibig, laging may kasamang malawakang pag iintindi at pag sasakripisyo.
Pero kailan mo nga ba masasabing " kailangan ko pang mag patuloy.. " kung sya ang nag bibigay ng dahilan para bumitaw at tuluyan ng lumayo?
Handa kang gawin lahat ng bagay para sa kanya, handa kang isakripisyo yung mga importanteng bagay sa buhay mo, handa kang harapin lahat ng taong hadlang sa pag mamahalan nyo. Pero ano nga bang mapapala mo?

WALA..

Dahil minsan, kahit gaano pa kadaming pag sasakripisyo ang ginagawa mo para sa taong yun, hindi ka pa rin nya mapahalagahan. Iiyak ka nalang, ikaw pa rin ang talo. Nakakainis noh? Kung sino pa yung nagmamahal ng lubos sya pa yung umuuwing talo. Ano pa ang silbi ng pangako kung alam mo ding masisira lang din ito?
Ano pa ang silbi ng pag papatawad kung di rin mapaninindigan ang mga sinabi mong " di na mauulit ".

May mga nag sasabing ayaw kang mawala, pero di ka naman maalagaan ng tama..

Lagi nilang sinasabing di nila kayang mawala ka, pero di ka maalagaan ng tama. Gustuhin mo mang magpatuloy, kaya lang minsan pakiramdam mo, parang useless din lahat ng pag iintindi at pag hihintay mo, lalo na't di mo na halos maramdaman ang presensya ng taong mahal mo.

Gaano ba kasakit mag hintay sa wala?
Alam mo kung gaano?
Para ka lang naman nag hihintay ng jeep na byaheng quezon city sa terminal ng MRT.

Mahirap bang mainitindihan yung salitang "PAHINGI NAMAN NG KONTING ORAS MO?"

Lagi ka nalang nasasaktan sa di malamang dahilan.. Nakakapagod na din minsan. Paulit ulit nalang.. palagi nalang. Kahit anu namang sabihin ko sayo di mo maiintindihan diba? Pwede ako muna? Krimen bang bigyan mo ko ng konting oras? Pag intindi naman dyan ohh.. un lang kailangan ko.

HIATUS

2010-11-15T14:32:00.001+08:00

Ok sorry for not blogging much lately sweeties!
I'm gonna be on HIATUS, that's why I'm not able to blog about the things and creeps that is happening in my life. But I promise to share all of those stories when I come back. Maybe next month.

I'm sooooopeer busy in school. So many reports and research works. Anyway, college is more fun and exciting because of my new school, course, classmates, professors, and environment.

Ok, I'll share some new tidbits bout my lovelife.

I hate the times when life gets unpredictable.
We are now facing a new challenge and I hope this pain won't last until tomorrow. He loves me, and I can feel it seriously. I can totally feel the warmth of his love.
I know we can surpass these trials.

I am now working as an attendant in our internet cafe, and I'm so glad coz I'm able na to earn my own money and save for my personal needs. I also have a good time management na *clap**clap*
Oh my.. I hope everything will be ok soon.

btw..
here's the stories that I'll share when I come back:

First day of second semester
My boyfriend visited me
I saw my future mother-in-law in person for the first time
Love life biography
The nightmare photo

that's all cupcakes! Have a great week !! :D

Stay updated.. visit me @ flavors.me

Naiintindihan mo ba?

2010-11-06T17:38:00.000+08:00

Minsan may mga bagay sa mundo na di natin maintindihan.

May mga pangyayaring hindi natin lubos na maintindihan kung bakit natin nararanasan sa kabila ng ating pag sasakripisyo at pagiging tapat.

Hindi masamang umasa lalo na't nakakaramdam tayo ng tuwa at saya sa tuwing nakakasama natin ang taong akala natin ay para satin na. Minsan nga, di mo pa maramdaman na umaasa ka. Kasi ang tanging nararamdaman mo lang ay kaligayan sa tuwing nariyan sya. Di naman kasi mapigilan ang puso pag ito na ang nag desisyon, lalo na kung pati ang isip mo ay under control na nito. Ang nagiging importante lang sayo ay yung nararamdaman mo, nababalewala na ang realidad.

Hindi masamang makaramdam ng selos kahit wala kayong commitment oh ano pa man yan.

Dumadating na sa puntong niloloko na natin ang sarili natin. Pinapaniwala natin ang sarili natin sa mga bagay na di totoo. Tayo nalang ang nag iisip na mahal na nila tayo kahit hindi naman.

Minsan, dapat nating isipin kung may mga tao ba tayong masasaktan, kung may mga inosenteng puso ba tayong matatapakan, kung may mga pagkatao ba tayong madudungisan. Sa pag ibig, hindi lang puso ang pinapairal, dapat pati isip gumagana.

Ano bang mapapala natin kung pipilitin natin ang isang tao para mahalin tayo? Pinapatunayan lang natin lalo sa sarili natin at sa ibang tao ang pagiging selfish natin. Diba mas masarap sa pakiramdam kung mahal ka nya dahil yun ang nararamdaman nya, kesa sa paniwalain mo ang sarili mo sa kasinungalingang mahal ka rin nya? Nakakainis pa minsan dahil may mga taong nag sasabing " Niloko mo lang ako, pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa ko." Pero ang totoo, ikaw ang tunay na nanloko sa sarili mo dahil sa paniniwalang Mahal ka rin ng taong minamahal mo.

Kung alam mo ang tunay na kahulugan ng pagmamahal, maiinitindihan mo ang mga bagay na hindi kayang intindihin ng ibang tao. Maiintindihan mo kahit ang mga pinaka masasakit na salita na kakambal na ng pagmamahal. Maiinitindihan din natin ang tama at hindi. Kung tunay kang nag mamahal, alam mo kung kailan ka dapat magpatuloy, tumigil, umiwas o makipag laban.

"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay
kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay
katotohanan. "

Minsan na rin akong umasa, minsan na rin akong naniwala sa kasinungalingang magiging kami hanggang sa huli, minsan na rin akong naging masaya dahil sa maling akala, minsan na rin akong nagkamali. At alam ko kung gaano kahirap magparaya ng taong mahal na mahal mo. Oo, syempre sa una mahirap tanggapin ang katotohanan. Mahirap tanggapin na yung minsan mong minahal, mawawala na sayo ng tuluyan. Pero natuto akong magparaya, hindi dahil sa mahal ko sya, kundi dahil naisip ko na kahit anung gawin ko, hindi ako yung taong makakapag pasaya sa kanya ..

Akala ko nuon, di na ko magiging masaya. Sobra akong nag crave sa tunay na pagmamahal. Maraming gustong mag bigay ngunit tila laging may kulang..

Sabi nila sakin, marami pang iba dyan. Oo, tama sila marami pa nga. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na isa lang talaga yung mamahalin ko ng totoo at lubos lubos. Sya yung taong kasama ko ngayon :)

Afraid to love again

2010-10-31T13:11:00.004+08:00

Love comes and it goes. Love is putting down any barriers and letting someone inside of your heart. It takes courage to give someone your heart and trust them with it. Many of us become afraid of putting our heart out there especially if it’s been torn apart in a previous relationship.

Many of us become afraid to love because we’re tired of being hurt. I also admit that I once felt it before. Some of us don’t ever want to experience being hurt again. Why? It takes too much time to get over it.

We may be afraid to love again, but we won’t dismiss the possibility. We can’t control when we fall in love because love just happens. Love will sneak up on you when you least expect it. Love is innocent and does not hurt. It only hurts when the one you love takes their love away. This is what makes us afraid to love.

We are also afraid to try or even give our hearts a chance to have this wonderful feeling. That's why we don't want to commit in any kind of relationship.

Bottom line is that none of us want to be hurt which is what will cause us to just give up on love all together. We will keep those barriers up and stray away from anyone that tries to get close enough to us to get over those barriers.

And when it happens, you'll just lose this one great opportunity.

Eventually, we have to get over being afraid. There’s not one person that wants to wake up and find that you’re all alone. Who knows, maybe He or She is the one that you're waiting for so long. That’s the risk that we take when we choose to love. I guess you can say that life is a risk.

You just leaved me off the ground

2010-10-30T20:22:00.003+08:00

I guess second semester will be a great time for me to start for a new life. New routines, new look, new me.
I wanna leave the old cry baby Aela in the past. A lot of things happened these past few days, and thanks to that miserable days. Because of that, I've realized so much things. Things that must be left behind and buried for good.

Well, I am pretty tired of wasting my time on those fellas whose ruining and spreading some shi*s in my life.
I don't need to listen to those heart breaking and irritating lies. I just can't barely understand why there are some people who keeps on forcing themselves on someone who is already happy and committed. They're just wasting their time. It really puzzles me. They don't get any benefit at all.
I hope one day, they'll realize what are they doing. I can't blame them, for they are also inlove. We are all inlove with the same man. And the difference is, this man loves me.

I was paranoid.

That's why I feel so sorry for myself.
I know, he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. I'm always thinking and imagining random things these past few night, that's why I always ending up crying in pain. I hate the tears.. I hate the times when my mind is over occupied with negative thoughts. Then after that, I just find myself looking in the mirror and blaming my heart for making me feel that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Sometimes when we are talking on the phone, tears will just fell off my cheeks. Don't know why, all I know is my heart wants to scream something.

My heart is suffering in pain. But as you can see, I'm not the type of person that will share what I really feel.
It's not that, I don't wanna share it because I don't trust my friends nor my family, I just don't want them to worry. They are also busy with their lives and I don't wanna receive any special treatment from them.

Luckily I have a boyfriend who always understands me. Even If I remain silent.
Awkward situations are increasing. That's why I decided that I should be aware. Before it strikes again, and kill her beloved Aela.

Painful Friday

2010-10-29T01:16:00.002+08:00

It hurts when everything ended and you'll realize that everything you had was just a lie.

I am feeling intense pain..
I wanna scream to death..
I wanna sleep but my heart still begs for some respect.
I am jailed..
My mind is full of unanswered questions.
Enough.. I'm done..

Coffee Madness

2010-10-28T17:06:00.001+08:00

As you all know,
I'm going to take up Bachelor of Science in Hotel and Restaurant Management this coming semester.

Why? simply coz I realized that Information Technology doesn't suit my personality and though I have high grades on programming and my other subjects, still I am not satisfied with what I am doing.

I found myself more dedicated on cooking and management.

Then, here's the drama.

One morning I woke up having the passion on creating different kinds of coffee and pastries. I wanna learn how to turn a nice cup of coffee into a coffee that can be more interesting by adding a touch of art on it. I wanna travel around the globe to see and to taste different kinds of coffees. I also want to open my very own coffee shop here in the Philippines.

I'm also planning to study being a barista. I wanna learn how to effectively prepare a desired cup of coffee for my customers.

And yes, before I reach those dreams. I have to read a lot of books, containing the history of coffee and cupcakes, different kinds and the likes :)

I hope 5 or 7 years from now, I have learned the basic facts of how to create a perfect coffee that will satisfy my customers. I would also like it to be too pretty to be eaten or drank. Taking a picture of my creation before chowing down would make me really proud!
I am so excited to start my career in making coffees.
Oh well, It is free to dream darlin'
I'll study harder to pursue my dreams. I want to do so much things before Gab & I get married.

One thing.. one of the reason why I want to be successful is because, I want my Dad & Mom to see that I am responsible enough in handling a business of my own. I don't wanna let them down. I don't want them to be disappointed. Secondly, of course It is also for my future husband :) We've talked about it, and then we came up with this brilliant idea. Siguro 5 years from now, we are able na to open our new business. My boyfriend told me that he also want to open a coffee shop.

WOW!! I hope maging successful kami sa aming career :)

You all know naman how much I love my boyfriend.
I want to spend my whole life with him. I don't want any other guy. For me he is the one. And I'm pretty sure about that. He's one of my inspirations in life. How I wish my dad could see us building our dreams. I know he'll be happy for us.

And before I end this post. I just found out that our classes will start this coming Nov. 08, 2010. Di pa ko nakaka enroll!! haha :D
Wish me luck sa aking new path.

A RUN FOR THE PASIG RIVER !!

2010-10-22T22:12:00.001+08:00

Oo, sumama din kami dyan sa fun run na yan for our very own Pasig River,

Oo teh.. mag contribution din ako jan noh. Ang hirap takbuhin ng 5 km. Sarap pakinggan pag di mo pa natatakbo. Hay na ko, 2 km pa nga lang yata hiningal na ko.

Well eto ang simula ng kwento:

12:30 am ako nagising nung 10.10.10

di dahil sa nag alarm ako. Tumawag nun si Gab kaya nagising na din ako. Syempre ang ganda nanaman ng araw ko, madaling araw pa lang buo na. Then, ayun suppose to be 2:30 am nandun na kami sa school. Eh napasarap yung usapan namin ni Gab kaya mga 1:30 na ko nakaligo. Buti nalang walang traffic kaya wala pang 1 hour nasa Quezon City na ko.

Pag dating sa STI, hinanap ko muna mga classmates ko. Sayang nga dahil di nakasama si Imman that time.Pero buti nalang nandun sila Wena & Jhen. Aga aga nga puro agad kami kalokohan. Ang dami kasing gwapo ang nag sulputan sa school. Kaya tuwang tuwa ang bestfriend kong si Wena.

Inis na inis na ang mga classmates ko kasi tuwing may bus na available, di pa kami pinapasakay kaya nag biruan kami na mag ordinary bus nalang. hehehe :p

Tapos after 1 hour nakasakay din kami. Di naman inda yung oras dahil puro halakhakan that day.

Pag sakay sa bus, kanya kanyang trip pa rin. Pero siguro after 15 mins tumahimik na kami nila Wen. Naidlip muna kami, sobrang traffic sa may CCP complex. Tapos mga 5:30 na ata kami nakatakbo. HAHAHA!!

Isa sa mga reason kung bakit ako sumali sa fun run for Pasig.. Kasi syempre, para makatulong upang gumanda o mabuhay muli ang kagandahan ng river na yun then pangalawa for experience na rin. First time ko kasing sumali sa isang fun run. Saka para dagdag na din sa good times ko sa STI diba? Bonding na din.

Kuha namin after ng malawakang takbuhan sa MOA

Ako at si bespren Wena (how sweet)

Uwian na yan.. napagod kami ng bonggang bongga,

halata namang pagod kami ni Wena diba?

Yan.. isa sya sa mga pinag kaguluhan ng mga girls sa FUN RUN..

ka gwapong bata :)

nawala pagod namin ni Wena lalo na nung kinawayan nya ko.. hihi :p

LANDE..

Lord, I'm Coming Home To Stay

2010-10-22T00:52:00.002+08:00

Luke 15:20 (NLT)
So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

James McDonald writes, "Maybe you've done something you think is beyond God's mercy, or someone has hurt you and you don't understand why God let it happen... maybe you're tired of parental guidance and you'd rather live by your own rules. I don't know why you are running, but I know one thing, you are tired. You're so used to this flight pattern you can't imagine life differently. Jesus talked about a son taking of from his dad's house where he had a room, unlimited food supply, a washing machine, cable tv, the works. After this runner's rise and fall, he woke up one day in a pig sty wondering, 'How'd I get here? I need to go back but what'll my dad say?' Have you ever thought, 'If I come back. how will God receive me?' Some people think He wouldn't care one way or the other. But that's not how Jesus described His Father, those feet pounding the pavement are God's feet running towards you. He's been scanning the horizon for a glimpse of you, an now He sees you, He's in a full run. 'While he was still a long way off, his father... ran and embraced him. God put that in (The Bible) so every runner will know what to expect when they reverse course."

Are you still running away from God, either because you think He is so mad at you and you worry what He'll say or because you are guilty of something you did, you thought there are more important things that God himself? Stop, turn around and come back home. He is waiting for you and every day ends with Him thinking, "It's okay, I hope my son comes back tomorrow." He'll end up waiting again and never gets tired. Revelations 3:3 (NLT) God said, "Turn to me again." There is no sin He can't forgive, no bondage He can't destroy, no addiction He can't overcome for you and no fear He can't overcome. His promise is, "Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him" (Isaiah 55:7).

It's time to stop, turn around and tell the Lord, "Lord, I'm coming home to stay."

Hold on ok?

2010-10-13T19:54:00.001+08:00

Good evening..
This will be my last post for this week.
I'm so happy because were ok now. But, as usual. In able for us to have a happily ever after , we must surpass all the trials and challenges that is ahead of us. So glad coz even though my mind is occupied with so much things still, I can manage it. I love my baby so much.
And now, we are facing a new challenge. I know that we can conquer every thing as long as were together. I am his strength, that's why I must not show any signs of losing hope. I don't wanna lose him that's why I'm going to do every thing just to make him healthy and braver.

P.S:
October 21, 2010 will be the signing
of our clearance..

I hope next week, I can hug my baby again ..
I so miss you baby :)

As of now, I'm not able to take care of you physically. All I can do is to remind you to sleep at least 8 hours a day, to eat plenty of healthy foods, to take up your medicine when you feel that you will be experiencing your allergy again, to rest, to take a break, to smile, to laugh despite of all of the bad things that is happening in our lives, to be brave in times of difficulties and hardships..

Don't worry baby, I'm forever here to stay :)
Bear this in mind babe, pag uwi mo di ka na mapapagod, aalagaan kita lalo, di kita papabayaan, I'll comfort you, coz you are my baby, my one & only baby :)
Kaya don't be afraid na ha? I will never ever leave you!!

I love you baby,

Examination Week

2010-10-13T06:06:00.001+08:00

Goodmorning :)

This week will be our Final examination week and I'm so thankful because last week I have reviewed some of my notes and handouts na kaya, I'm not having so much difficulties in reviewing. Thanks to all of the things that happened to me this past few days. I have so much stories to tell, but I'm afraid that I am not able to share them this week. Maybe by next week nalang,

Oh my.. I have so much to do pala next week. I'm going to fix my requirements for next semester. Oh my.. But that's good, at least my mind will be occupied with other things that is important.
I don't wanna think of those nonsense things, I don't wanna get affected by those photos and statuses. I'm tired to ask and to blab.

Enough na..

Over & over again..

2010-10-12T18:30:00.002+08:00

I am happy.. I swear, i'm lying.
Have you felt the feeling of unappreciated? rejected? snob? or abandoned?
It hurts like hell right?
So many words left unspoken and many stories are left untold. I'm used to experiencing things and leaving it as it is. I don't have that ability to carry many loads in my mind and keep it forever there. I am bothered by so many things. And that's the reason why i end up crying in the middle of the night and thinking of how to cure this pain. My heart is overflowing with so much anger,hatred,agony,madness,bitterness,and sadness.

Why?

Yes, I felt unappreciated and ignored. Pity me. Why do I have to experience this despite of all the sacrifices and good things that i've done? Why do I have to undergo this kind of hardship? There are so many things that I want to tell you but, sa sobrang dami ng mga bagay na yun, di ko na magawang sabihin dahil naunahan na ko ng mga luha ko.

I want to SCREAM!

Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.

I didn't expected that it will be this hard. But like what my mom told me before, expect the unexpected.
My mind is broad and I can understand every single thing, even though my personality is being misjudge by those other girls whose inlove with him. They're making me feel that I am the MISTRESS and the wicked witch in their fairy tale.

He told me that.. I should ignore those creatures nalang but, how can I ignore them if they keep on doing things that kills my heart every single minute of my life? Even though that I am assured that he will never leave me, still I can't ignore this feeling. Nature na ng mga babae ang mag selos.

Di ba pwedeng mabuhay kaming dalawa ng walang nang gugulo? Di ba ko pwedeng mabuhay ng tahimik at walang umaaway? Bakit ako lagi mali huh?? Ako ba dapat yung LAGING UMINTINDI sa mga taong DI NAG IISIP?

Konting hiya naman, ako yung girlfriend. Hindi ako yung nakikisali dito. Hindi ako yung extra. Ako yung may rights. Respeto naman dyan ohh..

Pwede this time ako naman

yung intindihin?

How I wish people would stop asking if how is for me to be alone because every time they do, I would be reminded that I am really alone.Things change and that's the normal thing. Even if I want other things to stay as they are, I am still aware that sooner or later I will face a reality that could change my life for the better if I choose to let it happen that way. I can't wait for the time that I won't see people who try to ruin my life. Some are doing it intentionally because they just want to turn every arranged thing into a mess while some unintentionally do things that may hurt someone like me.

Oh how I wish I can reformat my brain so I will never be reminded by those kind of people..

It's you I live for everyday

2010-10-06T06:52:00.000+08:00

I want to change. I want to be closer to God. I hate the times when I envy someone, I hate myself whenever I utter bad words towards my haters and semi - enemies, I hate it when I don't show any sign of respect to my mom, I hate my bad attitudes. I want to change. If you ask my friends, the real ones. They would say that, I am the best. But still sometimes, I admit that I'm being rude to others.

That's why I'm thinking.. Magpa convert kaya ako sa Christian?

Oh God.. Please help this young lady think :)

And from this day on, I'll promise to myself and swear to God that I'll be a better creature !! I'll praise and worship him with all my heart. I'll abandon the old warfreak, silly, Aela. I'll be good as new !!
I'm not doing this just because of Gab. But also for myself and to the Lord too.
I also realized that, what's LIFE without the Lord inside you?

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

" It's you I live for everyday. "

Pagod..

2010-10-01T20:49:00.002+08:00

OO.. pagod na pagod na ko pag initindi sa mga taong di makaintindi! Di ko naman hiniling na maintindihan nyo lahat ng bagay sa buhay ko, di ako humihiling ng sobra sobrang atensyon sa inyo.

Alam nyo yung mahirap?? Kayo yun.

Lahat nalang ng nakapaligid sakin kung hindi mga plastik, mga naninira. Ano bang problema nyo ha?

Kung wala kayong ibang magawa sa buhay nyo, tantanan nyo ko. Wag nyo ko itulad sa inyo na walang ibang responsibilidad sa buhay.
Kung mag aaway away kayo wala na kong pakielam. Di ko na kayo ipag tatanggol sa mga professors natin. Gagawin ko lang ang responsibilidad ko as the class vice president pero don't EVER expect that I'll help you to clean your fvcking mess!! Masyado kayong nag mamatapang without thinking of the possible consequences then pag napahamak kayo, YOU'll blame us? Me rather?? Foolish a**holes!!
Then now you want to start a fight? Makikipag suntukan kayo ganon? And what's next? Ako ang papagalitan dahil AKO ang responsible sa pag handle sa inyo?

Shit naman.. may UTAK nga wala naman kayong ISIP!!

Ang dame dame nyong dinadamay na tao! Pati mga walang kamalay malay idadamay nyo? Dahil ba damay damay din kayo na maguguidance? Wag nyo ko hintaying mag salita!!

Minsan lang ako mag salita sa inyo, Pero this time asahan nyo.. Pag ang PRIDE ko, tinapakan nyo na, at sumabay pa kayo sa mga problema ko, baka mag sisi kayo at nakilala nyo pa ko!!

At kayo namang mga feelingera kayo, PWEDE ba, wag na kayo sumabay uTANGNA loob!! Palibhasa porket nakikita nyo kong nakangiti kala nyo happy go lucky ako?? Lintek!! Kilalanin mo muna kung sinong kinakatalo mo! Lalo ka ng JEE HAN ka!! Ang tanda tanda mo na pumapatol ka pa sa bata! Ang laki mong BOBO!! Kahit mas ahead ka pa sakin ng sampung taon, di kita uurungan! Ako pa sasabihan mo ng mang aagaw at KABET?? isa kang SHIT!! isa nalang .. isang isa nalang, mang hihiram ka na ng mukha sa DAGA! Ikaw pa may ganang magalit pagkatapos ng mga ginagawa mong pang gugulo? Pinapalabas mo pa, na ikaw ang UNA at TOTOONG girlfriend nya? kapal mo teh, para kang kalyo!! At talagang pinaninindigan mong girlfriend ka nya? NAMO!!

Akala mo ba madaling maging isang Michaela Jong?

Wag nyo ng pangarapin. For i think, i was born to understand idiot people like you! Alam mo ba yung feeling na dapang dapa ka na pero kailangan mo pa din tumayo, di dahil sa gusto mo kundi dahil alam mong maraming umaasa sayo? Wala na kong bagay na nagagawa para sa sarili ko, lahat para sa iba.

Minsan para bang ayoko ng gumising sa umaga, gusto ko nalang matulog ng matulog ng matulog. Wala na kong peace of mind. Ang dami ng bagay na pumapasok sa isip ko, which is di naman nang yayari dati,

Feeling ko, sobrang kawawa na ko. Kaya lahat ng nararamdaman ko dito ko nalang nilalagay at nilalabas.

Hindi alam ni gab toh. Malamang nagtataka na rin sya kung bakit parang tahimik ako nitong mga nakaraang araw.

Di ko na kayang magpanggap ULIT.

Gusto kong sumigaw dahil wala na kong marinig!

A Promise..

2010-10-01T20:32:00.000+08:00

I promised that I wouldn't,
But I just cant take it anymore.
I'm sorry my love but,
I cannot listen to you today.
You know I love you and that's forever true,
But I need to cut.
I need to feel the razor pierce my skin.
I need to see the crimson blood run down my arm.
It wasn't you
It was life
It's what has been going on lately.
Everybody asking me questions,
Everyone expecting so much from me
Cutting is my addiction.
Cutting is something that I cant control
It's my drug.
This is something you wont ever understand
Although I may never tell you I did this,
Only because when you see the cuts on my arm it breaks your heart.
I love you and that's forever true.
But I'm sorry for my broken promise.

Teenage Mom..

2010-10-01T17:24:00.002+08:00

Ang hirapa pala maging isang teenage mom. Lalo na kung di ka prepared sa mga bagay bagay.
Mag 1 week na kong walang maayos na tulog dahil pagkagaling sa school, kailangan ko ng palitan ang mom ko sa pag aalaga for the whole day sa baby sister ko, since my grandma is sick. So walang ibang tutlong sa kanya kundi ako.

I was in grade 5 when I learned how to take care of babies. From bathing them, to changing clothes and diapers, mag timpla ng milk and the hardest part, ang magpa tulog. Hindi mahirap mag alaga ng baby kung wala itong topak, madalas lang naman na nag kakaganyan ang baby pag gutom, basa ang diaper oh kaya naman pag inaantok na. Kahit naman siguro tayo, kung inaantok na e tyak na totopakin din minsan.

Grade 5 so, di pa masyadong hectic ang schedule ko. Hindi pa mahirap dahil di naman ako ganun ka busy at wala pa kong ibang responsibilities, unlike ngayon na OVER capacity na ang utak ko sa sobrang dameng kailangang ayusing mga requirements at school works sa school. Malapit na rin yung Final exams namin kaya kailangan kong mag advance reading.

Ang hirap mag time management ngayon. Stress na nga sa school dahil sa mga classmates na walang magawa kundi manisi, tapos stress din sa personal life ko. Pati sa bahay stress ako. Walang patawad. Hindi ako sanay ng ganito. Dati pag uwi ko galing school, natutulog ako dahil mahaba ang byahe then ang init pa, Usually afternoon kasi ang uwi ko kaya mainit. kahit mag aircon bus ako, pag baba naman sobrang init.

Tulad kanina, sa sobrang pagod ko, habang pinapa dede ko si sadie, di ko namalayan na ubos na yung milk nya sa bottle. Buti nalang pagka ubos nya eh nakatulog na din sya. Minsan ang mahirap pa dun, tinotopak sya. Kaya kahit anung gusto kong maidlip o umupo di ko magawa dahil iiyak sya lalo.

"Ayoko pa maging ina."

Lalo na ngayon na ang gulo gulo ng utak ko. Wala akong permanenteng desisyon. Tapos masyado akong intact sa cyber world. Ang dami ko pang gustong gawin at subukan. Ayokong magka baby ako tapos pag sisihan ko right after. Gusto ko ok lahat, walang magulong utak na involve.
Sumasabay pa tong mga ambisyosang feelingerang babae na umaangkin sa boyfriend ko. Diba lalong nakakainis? Di ko nalang pinapansin dahil di sila dapat pansinin. Mga pokpok sila. HAHAHA!!

At ngayon, siningit ko lang talaga itong post na to dahil gustuhin ko mang matulog, di pa pwede.
Kailangan ko pang tulungan si mommy sa pag aalaga sa kapatid ko :)

Kaya ko toh!!

Ok lang..

2010-09-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

Minsan, may mga bagay na kahit anung pilit nating intindihin eh, hindi talaga natin maintindihan.

Minsan, it is better to accept things, kaysa sa mag isip ng posibleng rason kung bakit ginagawa satin yung mga bagay na di naman dapat.

Hanggang kailan mo kayang intindihin ang mga bagay na magulo?

Hanggang kailan mo kayang tiisin ang mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo?

Hanggang kailan mo tatanggapin ang mga bagay sa labag sa kagustuhan mo?

Hanggang kailan mo iisipin ang mga bagay na di naman dapat ikaw ang nag iisip?

"Hanggang kailan mo kakayanin ang mga bagay na nagpapahirap sa damdamin mo?"

Madalas natng sabihin yung " ok lang " kahit deep inside nasasaktan tayo, para lang di na humaba ang usapan. Para maging OK na. Pero ok nga ba? Maaaring sa kanya ok na, pero sayo ok ba talaga?

Madalas kong linya yan. Kahit saming magkakaibigan. Ang dakilang OK LANG.

Pero, mahirap. Mahirap panihndigan ang salitang OK lang.. Sarili na natin yung niloloko natin. Minsan ba naisip mo na baka, na tataken for granted ka na because of your super mabaet na pagkatao?

Minsan pa nga, para bang di nila alam na nakakasakit na sila. Sa bagay, maiisip pa ba nila yun kung todo pakinabang naman sila sa kabaitan na binibigay mo sa kanila?

Kahit gaano pa tayo kalakas. Darating din sa punto na hihina tayo. Kung sino pa yung mga taong dapat nag papalakas satin, eh sila pa yung nag bibigay ng rason para mapagod tayo. Kung tutuusin di naman natin mararamdaman ang pagod kung gusto nating gawin ang isang bagay. Kasi di natin ito tinitignan as responsibility.

"Konting konsiderasyon naman."

Wag mo naman ipa muka sakin na di mo ko kailangan. Wag mo naman sanang isampal sakin na maraming makakaintindi sayo. Wag mo na sana akong bigyan ng dahilan para lumayo.

Mga Puchaneskang Tao

2010-09-29T20:12:00.005+08:00

PAALALA:
Bago ako mag start ng post ko for tonight, nais ko lang ipaalam sa inyo na nabwibwiset na ko sa section namin. OO... nakakagago na, sorry for the bad words, kaya lang matagal na kong BANAS sa mga taong shallow minded. Ang post na ito ay mapupuno ng masasakit at di kanais nais na salita, kaya wag kayong magtaka. I'll elaborate all of the fcking reasons kung bakit ako nagagalit and I'm sure you'll feel the same way too after reading this post.

Tila USO na sa classroom ang plastikan. Ewan ko ba kung bakit big deal lahat ng ginagawa namin nila Imman, Jen at Wena. Di naman kami artista pero laging may issue samin kahit wala namang dapat pag usapan. Pinapasikat kami masydao ng mga pu*anginang bt105a na yan. Kala ko nuon, magiging maayos ang college life namin pero HINDI pala. That section is full of effin pretenders at mga plastik! Kung makitid lang utak ko, matagal ko ng na confront yan. Lalo na yung mga pu*angnang nagkakalat na buntis daw ako. Well, kahit naman tumira kayo sa loob ng chan ko , eh wala kayong makikitang fetus jan. Kahit ipa check up nyo pa ko sa sandamukal na ob gyne, mapapahiya lang kayo.

Ano bang nakukuha nyo jan sa mga pinag gagagawa nyo? popularity?? Oh come on.. LECHE!! pinapasikat nyo ko masyado. Big deal ba? eh anu kung totoo? kayo ba mag papa anak sakin? kayo ba gagastos sa ospital pag nanganak ako?? kayo ba magpapalaki sa anak ko kung totoo mang buntis ako?? Bat masyado kayong affected? Mamamatay ba kayo pag nabuntis ako? Saka bat kayo nagtataka?? Babae naman ako, natural may posibilidad na mabuntis ako. Magtaka kayo kung lalaki ako at nabuntis ako.

At eto pa, kung may problema kayo sa sarili nyo, pwede ba wag kayong manisi? Kasi kayo naman may kasalanan ng mga nang yayari sa mga pu*angnang buhay nyo ee. Tapos sabihin nyo pa plastik kami? Nakikisama kami ng maayos, tapos kami pa plastik? Di na nga kami minsan nag rereact diba sa mga katarantaduhang ginagawa nyo? Nakikielam pa ba kami? Kay lalaki nyong tao, kung bumanat kayo parang babae. At kayong mga babae kayo, kung maka banat kayo para kayong HIGHSCHOOL students.. Kung tutuusin kayo ang plastik! Biruin nyo, kaya nyo pa kaming kausapin at kabiruan kahit pumuputok na yang mga BUTSE nyo samin?

GALING!! IDOL!! FCK!!

Di na ko nag tataka kung bat nag kakasundo kayo.. Pare parehas kasi kayo ng pag define sa real friends. Wala na kami magagawa kung PU*AHAN talaga gusto nyo. Goodluck bitches! Tamaan sapul.. wala akong minemention na pangalan. If you think ikaw yun, better confront me. Or else.. pare parehas tayong ma OOSA before this fuc*ing semester ends!

Pag ibig nga naman..

2010-09-29T06:08:00.004+08:00

After ng last break up ko nung March 2010 naging super bitter na ko. I don't believe that there are teenage couples that will last forever or for a long time.
Every time na makakakita ako sa mall or kahit san ng sweet na mag boyfriend, lagi kong linya " Mag hihiwalay din yan ". Lalo naman nung nag college ako. Wala ng keme keme. Kaya nga siguro isa rin yun sa mga reasons kung bakit naging player ako.

I also remember, inis na inis ako pag may nakikita akong sweet na mag boyfriend.
One time nasa mall ako, kasama ko mga college friends ko, then may nakita kaming mag boyfriend na magka holding hands. Talikod kaming lahat sabay kamot sa braso, " allergic " kuno. Kahit anung gawin ko naman kasing pag hahanap kay Mr. right e, talagang di rin nila ma reach yung level na hinahanap ko.

Dati pag may nanliligaw sakin, basta cute at type ko. Go na agad, wala ng ligaw ligaw. Kami na agad!!. Pero for example kaibigan ko sya, then I can see naman na he doesn't deserve someone like me. Pilit kong pinapaliwanag sa kanya kung bakit di ko sya pwedeng mahalin. Dati, basta cute, gora na teh!

I've been single and bitter for 4 months. And nakatulong yun para magkaron naman ako ng time for myself. I spoiled myself a lot.
Yun nag start yung pagiging selfish ko. I admit that, I was once a bad girl but not a bad influence to my younger cousins and friends. They know the real reason why I'm acting that way.

Pero, imagine. The bad side of Aela vanished when my man came back.
Sya lang pala makakapag pabago ng lahat ng panget sa ugali ko.
Sya lang pala yung makakapag paniwala sakin na, " it's not impossible for young couples to last forever ". Sabi ko nga on my previous post, I think that was last april 2010. I don't believe in LOVE anymore, forever is a lie.
Sinabi ko yung, siguro dahil, halos lahat ng na eencounter ko sa love eh pare parehas ang tema lokohan. HAHAHAH!!

Di na ko nagulat nung naramdaman kong I was still inlove with Gab, after such long years. No wonder, he's the one I'm waiting for.

Kakaiba talaga ang Pag ibig. It can transform things in seconds. Ganito pala ko mag mahal, ganito pala yung pakiramdam ng Mahal ko, at the same time, alam ko sa sarili ko na Mahal nya din ako. PERFECT!!

Meet the In-Laws..

2010-09-27T19:02:00.005+08:00

My boyfriend called me up one early morning.

"Hi baby, goodmorning.. I'll fetch you by 9am, mama wants to meet you. I love you baby."

I was shocked.. Am I ready? I'm not emotionally prepared for meeting my soon to be in-laws. I don't know what to say until I answered him with...

" Ok baby, I'll just take my breakfast then I'll take a bath na, I love you too."

I hurriedly took my breakfast and spend an hour in looking for the perfect outfit. Then I decided to wear a formal blouse and jeans. After I took a bath, I decided not to put too much make up. A simple one will work.

Someone's knocking on my door. It was my mom.
" You better hurry, Gab is waiting for you downstairs. "
" Well, I'm done Mom. "

My boyfriend stared at me like he saw me for the first time. I was feeling flattered that time.

" Oh my.. "

Those are the words that I heard from my baby when he saw me.

We then went to their house. I was quite nervous. But then, my baby comforted me and told me that every thing will be fine.
As we enter their house, his mom was sitting at the sofa. I greeted her and she does the same. After some conversations, his grandma entered the door.
HOHOHO!! I don't know what to do. I wanna run away. But despite of the fright that I'm feeling, I smiled at her. I greeted her too.

" Good Morning po, "

Then she started to ask questions about my family background, myself and of course about our relationship. As time goes by, & little by little the palpitation drama vanished. Then his mom told me If I can go with them to take a vacation and visit some of their relatives in

Of course I agreed :)

Then, after we had lunch my boyfriend accompanied me home.
He keeps on teasing me while we are on our way home.

" haha.. nervous.. "

Well, he loves to tease me ever since. Nothings new about it :)

That night, he called me up.

" How's my baby? "

" I'm good. I miss you agad, love you baby. "

"love you too.. Baby, there's something I want to tell you "

I was beginning to feel nervous again.

" I think, I know it na. They don't like me? "

He stayed quite for a minute then..

" They like you so much. Love you baby. "

I was very happy that night. I can't barely sleep. I just saw myself smiling all night. I just can't imagine that they like me.

At last. We met our parents. And I'm glad that they are both supportive. I was once worried about what if his parents don't like me? what if my parents doesn't like him? But now that we both know that every thing is fine between our parents, we don't need to worry about it. Every thing is fine :) I'm so happy coz I am the first girlfriend of Gab that his parents met. His first and last.

"True love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime. Then in return a lifetime of love will be waiting for you."

to be continued..

I love you..

2010-09-24T22:26:00.002+08:00

I love you baby, forever and always:)
Thank you for understanding and accepting my worst attitude. And about what happened last night, we just proved that nothing & no one can ever break our trust. We are too strong and I know that we can surpass all of those incoming storms.
I love you more than anything..

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

Trapped in Life..

2010-09-24T21:21:00.004+08:00

We truly have all the freedom in the world to do, be and have anything we want. However, without realizing it, we subconsciously confine ourselves to live within limits. Our subconscious thoughts and ingrained behaviors become somewhat of a straight jacket keeping us from fully engaging in life.

We worry what other people think of us, what we think of us and we do what's right or settle for what's reasonable. And perhaps the biggest way we confine ourselves is giving up on our dreams because we think we don't have enough time. Restricting ourselves in this way shrinks us rather than expands us. Knowing who we are and being fully expressed gets put on the back burner or high upon a dusty shelf.

"Our life is shaped by our mind; what we think. Suffering follows an evil thought as the wheels of a cart follow the oxen that draws it. Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows pure thought like a shadow that never leaves."
- Buddha

The meaning of Buddha is "the enlightened one". To be enlightened is to be free of the imprisonment of the mind and transcended to a truly spiritual or enlightened existence. Despite the fact that we are free to think whatever we want and therefore do, choose and express what we want - we continue to hold ourselves back in one area or another. In some cases we may even feel trapped or victimized by our lives.

Take a stand for your freedom and break free from your limits. Become inspired and inspire others around you. Your life will seamlessly become free flowing and certainly more fulfilling than ever before.

Quotes #2:

2010-09-24T20:30:00.000+08:00

"Happiness is not found at the end of the road, it is experienced along the way. So take not for granted each moment of your life and you will find a reason to be happy each day."

Yes, I'll marry you :)

2010-09-23T08:38:00.003+08:00

Last night. My boyfriend called me up. I was really excited upon hearing his voice. Coz I miss him so much. We talked about a lot of things, including his plans for the two of us, about his plans of opening new businesses, and of course about my problem. Yes, I'm starting to hate my course. Well not really, I failed on one of my major subjects. I know naman na it is also my fault, I didn't take our laboratory exam. Though I know what to do, and I've reviewed some of my notes, still laziness reigned once again. I'll be more responsible this time. Finals na and I have to take good care of my grades, so if ever na I've made my mind and decided to switch course.

I'm planning to stop next semester and take 6 months training in bartending or barista. Oh kaya naman, I'll shift nalang to HRM or BSBA. But I'm still thinking about it. Thank God, my boyfriend is very supportive and do understand me.

Thank you baby,

And here's the happiest part of our conversation.
He asked me to marry him :)
weeeeeee... sooooopeeeerrr happppyyy !!

Ever since naman he is the one i wanted to marry. And my answer will remain the same.
I answered him with " Yes, I'll marry you.", without any doubts. Per I told him that, before we get married I want every thing to be ok first. Besides we have so many plans. There so much to do and there are so many other priorities.

Marriage can wait. We love each other so much so there's nothing to worry about.
I wanna grow old with him..
I wanna be with him forever.

Failures turned into true Happiness

2010-09-22T21:24:00.007+08:00

Hindi naging madali para sakin ang mag mahal ng tao lalo na't wala akong nararamdaman para sa kanya. Maraming beses ko ng naranasan ang makipag date sa mga suitors and admirers ko, hoping na sana isa sa kanila ang mahalin ko ng totoo. Pero, kahit anung gawin nilang effort, di pa rin sapat.

Etong nag college lang ako, marami na rin yung ka date ko. Most of the time sa mall ako nakikipag meet, sa SM Fairview kung san malapit din ang school namin. Kasama ko lagi ang mga BFFs kong sila Wen, Jhen, Imman at Chelle. Di ako nakikipag meet mag isa, dapat lagi silang kasama. Kinabukasan nyan, magtatawanan kami. Minsan kasi yung mga ka date ko, may mukang bad boy, payatot masyado, feeling close agad sa tropa, mayabang, mahangin, feeling gwapo, pandak, kapre, in short EPIC FAILURE.. May mga matitino din naman, classy kumbaga. Eh hindi naman ako classy noh, sossy lang ako pero di ako classy. Hay kung kasama ko lang si Dee, malamang sobrang matatawa sya. Di naman ako ganun ka desperate para mahanap si Mr. Right.. i'm just trying kung may makikita pa nga ba ako maliban sa first love ko which is my baby. Di pa kasi sya bumabalik sakin that time. Di naman ako disappointed every time na nag fafail ako sa pag hanap kay mr. right. But, hindi pumasok sa isip ko na baka si Gabriel talaga yung mr.right ko.

Simula nung umalis si Gab. Dun na ko nag simulang magalit sa lahat ng guys. Well di naman lahat kasi madami rin akong kaibigan na guys. Pero, naging imbalance yung buhay ko. May times na masyado akong nag titiwala, kung sino pa yung di katiwa tiwala at halata namang lolokohin lang ako, eh yun pa yung nakakakuha ng full trust ko.
Sa first 2 boyfriends ko, naging ganun ako. Binigay ko lahat ng tiwala ko, and I end up crying lang. Alam ko sa sarili ko na he's just using me, pero di ko padin yun pinapansin. Basta masabi lang na nagmamahal ako ok na. Pero mali pala yun.

Nung nag highschool ako, kung sino pa yung matagal nang nan liligaw yun pa yung binabasted ko, at hindi binibigyan ng chance. Nakikita ko talaga serious sila sa pag court nila sakin, pero i always choose not to break our friendship. Kung sino naman yung halatang nambobola at nanloloko, yun pa yung pinaniniwalaan ko. Akala ko nuon porket mahal ko ngayon, kami na ~~FOREVER~~. Kaya nga puro disappointments yung buhay ko nun, kasi mahilig ako mag expect masyado without knowing those effin persons deeply.

I've committed suicide once.

hindi dahil mahal ko yung guy na yun, it's because naiinis ako kasi nag mamahal naman ako, di ko sila niloloko, pero bakit ako niloloko nila? Ano bang mali sa ginagawa ko? Have I done something wrong? yan ang mga tanong na naiwan sa isip ko. At dahil di rin ako nag oopen ng mga ganyang problema sa mom ko, i choose to hide it in myself. Ayoko kasing maka sakit pa ng ibang tao that time. I also remember, lagi kong pinag ppray na sana dumating na yung guy na para sakin. Yung di ako sasaktan, di ako iiwan, saka yung ipaparamdam nya sakin na sobrang mahal nya ko kahit di kami mag kasama.
Laging kasama si Gab sa prayers ko. Never kong hiniling kay God na sana mahalin ako ni Gab, isa lang lagi kong hinihiling sa kanya. Yun ay yung sana, laging ok si Gab at laging happy.

I expected too much from that mr. wrong..

Well, di naman ako nag sisisi sa mga naranasan kong katangahan sa kanila.
Thank you sa kanila kasi, natuto akong maging strong, brave, man hater hahah!!
Kaya naman pagkatapos ng last relationship ko nung march 2010, naging man hater at player na ko. Wala akong pakeelam kung ma hurt ko ang feelings nila, kasi you know every time na nakakasakit ako ng guys nakakaramdam ako ng satisfaction at fulfillment.

Bad ko noh? yeah I know..

There was a time mag isa ako sa kwarto. Nag isip ako, inisip ko kung bakit ba kahit anong gawin kong hanap sa happiness na yun eh di ko makita sa kanila? Then naisip ko nanaman , baka naman kasi hindi sila ang magiging source ng happiness ko, kaya siguro until now kahit sandamukal na ang serious jan sakin ehh di pa rin ako satisfied.

Naisip ko si Gab, tapos natawa ako "imposible," sabi ko sa sarili ko.
Yeah.. imposibleng mahalin ako ni Gab. Hay naku, para akong baliw nung gabing yun. Tapos a week after ayun na, nag pa add sakin si Gab without having an idea na sya yun.

Masyadong mapag laro ang kapalaran. Di natin alam ang mga mang yayari. Imagine, when I was about to give up saka sya binalik ni God sakin? oh my.. I'm so thankful talaga.

" I love you baby, thank you kasi kasama ako sa mga future plans mo. Thankful ako kasi, you are so sure na, na ako yung gusto mong makasama for the rest of your life."

Those letters..

2010-09-22T06:34:00.003+08:00

good morning guys!!
wow.. what a beautiful day, but I'm totally late for my first subject.. That's why I decided to come nalang to my second subject, besides.. NSTP makes me ~~sick~~!!
Ok, I'm planning to post letters to those special someones of my life. Including my Family, boyfriend, and friends. and also to those effin people who always make my life miserable. But not as miserable as theirs. hahahah!!

For today :
It's our P.E today, with 2 units. GOSH!! what the F!!
Pyramiding is the drama :D
LOVE IT!! I wanna be on the top of it!
Wish us LUCK :)

I need to lose some weight
my body's freaking me out, hahaha :D
I'm not that fat, It's just that I wanna lose some more.
EXERCISE.. GO GO GO!!

i miss my boyfriend, i love him so much!

I hope you can comment on my post about our love story ..
thanks in advance anyway,

Nothing but Love

2010-09-21T19:06:00.008+08:00

I love my boyfriend so much

And yes, you heard it right. I love him so much. We both believed that it is fate that brought us back together after such long years. We are destined. I can't express or tell yah how happy I am. I can't resist to love him over and over again. I can't explain how I fall in love with everything that he do. I could never ask for more from love and life than him.

Here's our story..
Way back June 2004. I was in grade 4 while he's in first year highschool. There's nothing special at first. June 13 2004, that was the first time that I saw him and after that day, I promised to myself that I want to be his friend. I don't feel something special for him that time. By October 2004, we became friends. Thanks to my childhood friend, because of you, I met my husband. Then, ayun na we became best friends. But as the day goes by, I suddenly fell in love with my bestfriend. I know I was too young to feel that thing, but that's me.
Everytime that he's having a conversation to the other girls at school, I became jealous. I also remember, i always wanted to come early to school because I wanted to see him sitting at the stairway. Oh kaya naman, i would always go to the comfort room just to glance at him. I am sooooooopeeeerr doooooopeeeerr happy whenever we are together giggling, talking and most of the time when he's teasing me. I didn't tell him bout what I feel for him. I keep it as my secret. Nobody knows about it. Just me and myself.

But suddenly, everything changed when I asked him If he could accompany me home. He promised me that he would. I can't hardly wait for that day to come. It was afternoon, can't wait to be dismiss by our teacher coz I know my man will come with me. But, he refused. He told me that he has something to do. He was in a hurry. I was disappointed. I went home alone.

After what happened, I didn't talk to him na.

July 2006, I can't possibly remember the date. But that was the last time that I saw him. He was waiting for a jeepney. I was about to call him but, I doubted. I was afraid that he might be mad at me. I went home alone again. After a month, I don't barely notice him at school. He's no longer sitting at the stairs whenever they have vacant hours. Then, I asked one of our friends. " Did you noticed gab? I haven't seen him for months. " Then, she told me that " He transferred na, that's why you don't see him around. " My body became numb. I don't know what to feel, If i only knew that, that would be the last day. He left me without telling even a single word.

" I'm ruined "

As I enter highschool. He's still living inside my heart. He still owns a special place inside it. I always pray for him, coz we don't have any available communication before. I once remember what my cousin asked before, " Ate, who do you want to marry? ", I answered her " I want to marry Gabriel ". She always ask me the same question. Kahit nung nag high school ako, my answer remained the same.

If there's one guy that I would like to be with the rest of my life, It's Gab.

In the past four years of my life. I became annoying to other girls. That's why I don't have alot of girlfriends. I became flirt, relationship gamer, load digger, BAD GIRL for short. I don't get serious whenever I'm into a relationship. I just wanted it for fun. I enjoy cheating guys. Coz I also knew that they just wanted me for fun too. I HATE SERIOUS COMMITMENTS.

As I enter college, I still keep on dating guys. I'm still searching and hoping that some of them will make my heart pound once again. But I failed.

One day, God answered my long time prayer. My man returned. But I didn't noticed at first that it was Gab. He added me on facebook. I didn't expected everything. I was about to give up. But he came along.

We exchanged phone numbers. Talked about alot of things that happened to us since the last day that we saw each other. Everything's perfect. I can also feel the same feeling that I felt when I was in grade 4. Such a wonderful feeling. Imagine fate brought us back?

That night, I confessed about what I really feel for him. That's the time when i realized that, kaya pala no one can win my heart, it's because Gab occupied a space inside it. I cried that night. I was about to cut our conversation but he suddenly told me that he does love me too. he's just afraid to admit to his self that he loves me ever since.

2 strangers became friends, friends who became bestfriends, bestfriends who became lovers,

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. "

And now that we are together again. We don't want to be apart again.
He is now working in a real estate and he is also planning to open a new business but we will still talk about it. He's very busy working but still finds time for us to talk. I love him so much! I'm so happy when he told me that he wanted me to be his wife and the mom of his future babies. I have nothing to wish for. Then, he is now saving for our future. So thankful to have him back :)

I keep falling for him over and over again. This feeling will never end. He's my strength, my inspiration, my life.

" I love you baby "

There are some things in life that can be said using words, but the true explanations of feelings come from the heart.

BTW:
Here's the video that I made last week..
It's all about our love story, part 1 pa lang yan.

"Love Never Fails."

2010-09-21T14:50:00.002+08:00

1 Corinthians 13:8 NKJV

There might be people we know who are struggling in their relationships, especially those who are married, it might be a friend, relative or friend. This is something worth sharing to them, "Love never fails." The love that God designed is the perfect example and model for relationships.
Renew your commitment. Challenges are expected in relationships, what can you expect from two imperfect people being together? Make a decision, "I'm going to win my wife/husband back." Don't just say it, do it. "I'll do what i need to do for the highest good of my loved. Love that never fails is the love that never stops. It might be tough when only one person makes the commitment. But when you do, it frees God to deal with the other person than both of you. Makes sense? A relationship works when we ask "Lord, tell us what to do."
Start going out again. Nobody likes to be taken for granted so adopt the attitude, "I'm going to keep wooing and surprising my partner." Surprising our partners are so common when a relationship starts, but as the relationship lasts, the wooing becomes rare. See how God never stops surprising you and wooing you in what He is doing in your lives, that keeps our relationship with Him amazing. It's time to start surprising our partners again.
Give up something for your partner. It sends a really positive signal when we say "I know I planned to do this today, but I'd rather be with you." What do you feel when you are down, and you thought it's going to be just another day and then God tells you, "I can do other things now, but I'd rather be with you." You'll feel special and important. It's just right to make to make our partners feel the same way.
Pay attention to little things. The little stuffs are the ones that are easily forgotten. Like complimenting how beautiful you wife looks today, giving her compliments and a note saying "I Love You". Or surprising your husband by wearing his favorite dress, giving him a massage or preparing a special meal for him. Just like our small efforts and tasks done for God, it makes God happy.
Accentuate the positive. Anyone can be critic and see something bad or negative about you but it takes you to observe and acknowledge the positive in your partner. Focus on the good attributes than dwelling on your partners flaws. With love, tell your partner what you find not pleasing and see what happens, lift them up to God and everything will be just fine. See ow God focuses on the good in us and doesn't condemn us for our flaws.
Stop blaming and don't bring the past back. It's always easy to blame someone else when something goes wrong. Admit what you did wrong and ask God to help you in working out your differences and fault. Just like what the Ray Parker Jr song says: "Let 's not bring the past back anymore." Don't bring back the past every time something goes wrong. God also looks at us the same way, God never looks at us based on our past, but as a new creation.
I believe that when we start doing this, by faith, we will be surprised on what the Lord can do to our relationships.

HIATUS MODE

2010-09-20T20:42:00.002+08:00

Sorry guys for the late update.

Promise to reply on your tags and comment on your posts when I get back from HIATUS..

Well, for the little update, I'm facing some difficulties now and I wanted to be alone and busy first before anything else. I want to change my routine. I know It will be kinda hard for me, but I have to do it.

Sometimes we need enough space to think what are the things that we actually want.. we must help ourselves to search for it. Sometimes all we need is ourselves. We don't need others to look for it.

Appreciation:
I appreciate others, but some of them doesn't appreciate my efforts. That's reality. I was born to appreciate and understand others while others doesn't appreciate me at all. That's me ..

"HIATUS"

Wondering..

2010-09-10T19:38:00.003+08:00

there's a little pain behind " It's ok.. "

I had a long week..
I'm feeling lazy at this moment and I don't think I can elaborate the things that happened to me these past few days.
All I know is, I'm tired.

WEDNESDAY
Sept. 08,2010:
Jen, Wena and I together with my bestfriend Imman, went to Robinson's mall Lagro. We ate at Mcdo. Then we spend the whole afternoon looking for the perfect clothes at RRJ and other stores. We had a lot of fun that day.

THURSDAY:
Sept. 09,2010
It's our first monthsary. Were not together that day, for he is assigned to be a moderator in a retreat in their church. He seems very busy. All I have to do is to understand and accept it. Though sometimes, I felt that I'm starting to get weak na.

We went to Mcdo again. Same friends.
Jhen, opened her problems to me regarding this guy that he loves.
Like what I usually do, I listened to her, I comforted her. While Imman and Wena stayed silent. I told her that she needs to be strong and I keep on telling her that the greatest things, happen to those who wait. I know exactly how she feels, coz I've been through that before. Several times I think, so maybe you can call me a professional stupid girlfriend.

Ewan..

Ewan..

FRIDAY
Sept. 10,2010:

I hate it when I need that someone to listen to what am I feeling.
I am fed up writing my feelings on stones. Well, I know that most of you doesn't know about it. You see, when I'm problematic and tired of every thing, i write what I feel on stones with my marker. I know it's kinda weird but, that's me. Aside from blogging, that's one of my little way of expressing my feelings.

I grew up in a happy family. I grew up without wanting and asking for so much.
I grew up without telling my mom or my grandma about my feelings. But sometimes, when too much pain is around to the point that I don't no longer feel it, numb rather, I cry nalang , and that's the point when I'm ready to burst those hidden thoughts.

No wonder If I'm like this.
I just don't wanna disturb those people that surrounds me. I only share my thoughts to those people I knew that will surely understand and listen to me.

" Those stones are souvenirs of my blue days. "

If you ask my friends, or even my family what's nice to me. I'm sure you will hear same answers. " I am known for being the strongest young lady in our friendship circle when it comes to handling minor or even serious problems. Regarding family, relationship and character problems. I am also known for being a positive thinker." That's what they think. They thought everytime they're asking me If I'm ok, then I'll answer them with yes, they thought I mean it. But deep inside I want to scream that " I'm not!! ".
Only few can sense If I'm ok or not. I consider you as my real friend If you can feel it.

Minsan ba.. naisip mo na kung kelan mo masasabing ok na ang lahat at pwede na ang DI dapat? minsan ba , naranasan mo na yung gusto mong intindihin yung mga bagay na di mo maintindihan? Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap yon? Do you know what It feels like to wait for that day to come and after those waiting dramas you see yourself crying in the middle of the night because of this fvcking disappointments?

I believed..

I'm starting to be paranoid again.
I hope It won't last.. It's killing me.. It's breaking me into pieces.

..end...

Love was made for us..

2010-09-03T22:30:00.007+08:00

Good evening :]
Atlast, midterms are over. Another set of challenges is ahead. I'm gonna study harder and improve my computing skills this term up to the finals. I don't want my mom to be disappointed, and also I don't wanna hear negative things about my relationship with Gabriel. I've never felt this kind of feeling. He always makes me feel that I'm important to him. He treats me like his queen. I'm so thankful for having him back.
I will not waste any single minute for not telling and showing him that I love him so much. He does the same thing too.

After 5 years, we met each other again. Nothing seems different. He is still the same. He's taller than me, (I remember 5 years ago, I am the one who is taller than him).
I can't barely look at his eyes that time. I just can't imagine that everything was real. He keeps on smiling at me, I was too shy. My heart beats faster and faster whenever our eyes meet. I was really happy that day, to the point that I don't want it to end.

We watched the movie " Grown Ups ". I hugged him tight. I just can't believe that after such long years, I was there hugging him. After watching, we went home na. While were in the bus, he's holding my hands tightly feels like, he's telling me that "I'll never gonna let you go again baby.. " I introduced him to my mom and grandma. I was glad upon seeing him having a good conversation with them.
How I wish, he is the ~~one~~ for me.

"I don't want to let go of him"

I can't totally express how happy I am.
I fall deeply everyday, I fall inlove again and again...
A non terminating feeling :)

We vowed that we are not leaving each other again.
I must admit that , he is the one who makes me complete. Maybe he is the missing part of my lullaby.. I want to spend my whole life with him. My family likes him for me. They are very supportive, and i'm thankful for that.
I know he needs me, like what he always tells me. i will never leave this guy. For he is my remedy, my savior, my counterpart.

An illusion?

2010-09-03T19:19:00.003+08:00

One of the reason why people get so sentimental, when everything else does.. Sometimes, destiny isn't always good, It becomes playful. When you meet someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross. But what if making your paths cross is just part of the game that the playful destiny created?
Making you realized that, the person you thought that was destined for you wasn't really mean to stay.

But only destined to make you feel love, and leaved you when you've already fallen. It's not easy to state a reason, when you decide to leave your love. Some might think, It's just an excuse. Some might not actually believe. Some will blame you, some might be mad at you..

What they don't see is the fact that, It hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn't deserved to be hurt. Especially when you can't actually state the reason why you have to leave. You can never own something that was never been yours. So let's stop gripping on things we expect to last forever. Nothing last forever, forever is a lie, everything is transitory. So while you have something in your hand, always bear in mind that you just borrowed the things you had. Some might say that, when It's gone, It won't take you eternity just to let it go. When your feelings get strong for someone, It's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart a time to breathe. A time to use your mind to weigh the situation, based on reasons not on the emotions. Because the saddest thing that can happen, is when " Someone falls in love while the other one wants nothing more than a friendship. "

Love can be sometimes be a magic, but magic can sometimes be an illusion, and sometimes illusion is a lie. There are times that I wished that I was limited in certain emotions. So that I'll never have to experience the pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed. To have heart that's whole but numb, or a heart that is broken but real.

For there are things that weren't really meant for us. But I guess those painful things makes us more stronger and wiser. For love is not a game to be played but a dream that is so good to be true.

You say I love you, I say I love you too..

2010-09-03T18:04:00.003+08:00

Hi guys!!
Yeah! almost 1 week nalang and It's our Pre-Finals exam na. I have to be extra active in class, coz these past few weeks, I've been really lazy going to school early. Though my first subject starts at 8am, I have to wake up at least 5 in the morning. BTW.. what's important is, I have this inspiration and I don't wanna hear negative reactions regarding our relationship.

BTW.. oh my! I can't barely imagine that our monthsary is fast approaching.
I really do love this guy, my first love. Though he's very busy doing his other responsibility in church and as a vocal soloist in one of his uncle's bar in manila, still he finds enough time for us to talk kahit through fone lang.
And If you ask me, kung san ako nagpapaka busy? well as I told you earlier, i was too lazy doing my responsibility these past few weeks, but I've managed it naman na.
I practice time management, and the power of being diligent.

Good News:
I have succeeded in improving my skills in cooking !! Alright!! give me a round of applause (*clap*)(*clap*)(*clap*)..

Well, I'm having fun in school.. everyday seems to be a new day for me. There are lots of things happening every single day. I'm starting to meet new friends with different courses in our campus. I love our Physical Education subject, well It helps us to be healthy and sexy. OHWOW.. hahaha !! That picture was a stolen shot. We are busy practicing our exercises. And yeah,, even though I'm tired everytime I got home from school, I still find myself enjoying everything.
Can I ask for more? Oh well.. sweety, I'm surrounded with crazy yet loving classmates, I have a supported mom, a cute sister, jolly friends, and an understanding, caring, loving, sweet and thoughtful boyfriend. Can't ask for more dear! I received my class card kanina, and yipeeeeeeee!!! I passed all of my subjects, no failed subjects baby :D (*clap*) (*clap*)

Late Updates:

Last July 2010, one of my admirers gave me this cute stuff toy. He doesn't have a name yet until now. I'm too busy and I have no time to think for a name.

God is good :)

BTW:
kindly check this website that my friends in Adamson University taking up Computer Science. They made this website in able for the yahoo messenger users to see who's invisible in your y.m. Just follow the instructions..
Here's the link ;p

IMVISIBLE

NSTP tour in Lucban

2010-09-02T02:25:00.005+08:00

Heya guys.. do you love my new layout?
Well It's kinda simple but yes, i like it simplicity.
Watch out for my next post..

Our National Service Training Program or NSTP in Lucban, Quezon.
I have so much to tell and share to all of you.
BTW.. Thank you for visiting my site while I'm gone.

I miss my affies !!

Assuming

2010-08-20T23:51:00.002+08:00

Share ko lang..
Etong girl na masyadong assuming,
kung makapag react kala mo sya ang girlfriend ni Gab..
Oo, I know di katangusan ilong ko. Pero sana heler, tignan nya muna face nya bago sya mang lait noh !! DUH.. sabi nya pa kay gab,"Anakan mo lang ako, masaya na ko" .. Abah,,, hahaha kayo nalang bahala kung ano magiging reaction nyo jan. CHEAP .. hehehehe :D

Eh sya nga, halos kala mo buhok na tinubuan ng muka, Atleast ako kahit alam kong di katangusan ilong ko, atleast may muka akong maihaharap sa ibang tao. Looks ba ang importante? Di noh !! Personality ho.. palibasa gurang na kaya ganyan maka react.
Di nya lang matanggap na di sya pinili ni Gab.

POOR EFFIN FELLA

Midterm Exam..

2010-08-16T05:39:00.003+08:00

Goodmorning :]

This is the 2nd day of our midterm exam. Well I hope we could all pass our exams.
I'm thinking of shifting to a new course. I hate math, and I don't know If I can survive here.. LOL!!

BTW.. my boyfriend's gonna fetch me later after class.
Oh ! I'm so excited to see him :]
I'm gonna update yah guys when I got home.
I have so much to tell yah.

"I've never felt this kind of thing."

Today was a Fairytale

2010-08-10T05:31:00.002+08:00

Good morning :]

yes.. today was a fairytale.. It is one of my luckiest & happiest day. Gabriel & I, talked on the phone yesterday. I was really happy that time because of the attention & time that he is giving to me. I also told him about everything that I felt 5 years ago. And I didn't expected that he also feels the same way. Maybe it is FATE who brought us back together. And we will not waste this big opportunity that God has given us.

Oh how I wish this is the relationship that I'm waiting for. Imagine seeing my first love again? Well, he always had this special place in my heart. No wonder If I'm like this. Now I know why, is it until now I don't have any boyfriend. He's going back to me. Oh hahahaha :p I'm so happy talaga.

Thank God Baby, I found you

I was really stupid for telling you that I don't wanna fall inlove again. But I don't wanna lose this guy anymore. He is more than everything. He is the one I am with when I first felt jealousy, love & happiness with your guy friend.

I love you Gab.. thank you for coming back :]

I can't let myself love him..

2010-08-08T21:40:00.006+08:00

Yes.. the title itself..
I can't let myself to love my friend. We are just pretending to be inlove for some personal reason. I don't want this story to be like Alfred's.. I want to keep our friendship. I know he will understand. He is my long time crush, but It was too long though sometimes I can still feel some spark. I hope I will not find enough reasons to love him. But who knows? naaaaahhh.. ang gulo ko, basta I don't wanna be inlove. Ayokong madevelop kami. Saka, siguro malabo coz we are just meant to be friends.

Pero bakit after 5 years pinag tagpo ulit kami? Anu nanaman bang nakasulat sa tadhana ko? Is't fate?? or another kind of palabas? who knows?? 5 years na kaming walang communication and eto, nagulat nalang ako ng iadd nya ko sa facebook. I didn't expected that matatandaan nya pa yung whole name ko. Flattered .. yes, & take note we don't have any mutual friends.

Oh well.. I have to rest na. I have to wake up early :]
wish me luck ..

How to Date a Taurus Woman

2010-08-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

A strong Taurus woman may be a little intimidating. That is why she needs a special type of man to take her into his arms and make her his. If you want to be this man then read on. You need to learn about how she thinks, feels and acts so you can get close enough to be the strong man she can commit to for life.

Strength in All Aspects

A Taurus woman is strong all around. She is strong in her beliefs. She is strong in body. She is strong willed. She needs a man that can handle it all. Her strength also plays into how she loves. She is passionate and very sensual. She comes across very provocative and will do her best to make herself stand out and be the sexy vixen in any situation.

An Underlying Innocence

The Taurus woman can be a bit cheeky. She can often come across as innocent even though she rarely really is. She likes to lead and dominate and playing innocent is just her way to get what she wants. You should recognize this, but don’t even think you can change it. Let her be in control sometimes. She needs someone who will admire her for ever. Don’t ever treat her as if you could take her or leave her because when you turn around she will be gone.

The Taurus woman knows what she wants. If you are not what she wants then it may not be the best match up. Trying to keep up with her if you just don’t naturally click will be difficult if not impossible. You need to be honest about the relationship. If you feel that connection then work it. Play into her and let her be who she is and you could make it work into a lasting love.

source:You got me

Different from the Real one..

2010-08-08T06:36:00.003+08:00

I haven't sleep yet. But I wanna blog about it.
As you all know, i always end up with the wrong ones. And It gave me a big break. I am good in advising others but, I can't do it for myself. I always chose the wrong prince, that's why i was the one who loses the game. Always a victim of my own weakness. I don't wanna experiences rejection nor failure anymore. And because of that, I don't longer trust in guys. For me they are all the same. I came to the point that, everytime I see happy couples, i would always tell myself that "naaahh.. for sure they will not last long".

Then, whenever there's a guy courting me but I don't see any efforts on him.. I play with him, i start uttering words that is sweet. Then it's up to him if he will fall for me. If he do , "poor him" if not "nice game" .. I am not affected.

I felt contentment everytime i do those things. Feeling ko, nakaganti na ko. Call me selfish for playing with their innocent feelings. I don't know myself anymore. I am totally different from the old Micha. Then one day I woke up, i was flirting. After seeing them in person, call it quits. I QUIT!! am I that bad?

Maybe that's the reason why I still don't have a special someone, though I know that he can be one of the suitors who likes me. I keep on insisting that, they are all the same without seeing reality.

I am rude, and cruel ..

Starting this day, i will just focus on the things that is more important.

I am a certified Bekimon

2010-08-08T03:07:00.004+08:00

What is Bekimon ??
well Bekimons are persons who speaks gay lingo.. and I am one of them. Before Bekimons are discovered, I can proudly say that I am a good gay lingo speaker ahahaha :]
Bekimons is popularized by Bern Josep Persia . You can watch his videos on youtube.com just type the keyword bekimon.

Oh well.. I can't help but to laugh everytime I watch his videos. So amazing talaga.
Sometimes when I'm at school, and I don't want them to understand what I'm saying, i used the bekimon language. And because of that, my friends call me "babaeng bakla" or girl gay. Some find it weird, well I guess they are just pissed off because they don't know how to speak gay language or to understand.

want an example?

Bekimon:

nakita namin ng bestfriends ni lolabelles yung ex kong hinayupak satchi mall kaninatchi. chenes. palakad lakad lang ang washingtonng hiya, di malaman kung san syatchi pupunta. jojombagin ni watashi na sanatchi sya, dahil naiimbyernatchi talaga ni lolabelles tuwing naaalala ni lolabelles yung mgatchi ginawa nya sakin.

chorva

Normal:

nakita namin ng bestfriends ko yung ex kong hinayupak sa mall kanina.. palakad lakad lang ang walang hiya, di malaman kung san sya pupunta. Gugulpihin ko na sana sya, dahil naiimbyerna talaga ko tuwing naaalala ko yung mga ginawa nya sakin.

haha :p

One Saturday of my Life

2010-08-07T19:21:00.006+08:00

Hi guys !! Oh i miss you so much !! i totally miss sharing my daily stories and advices to all of you sweet dears :] By the way, I'm back in action so put your seat belts on, and let's start this story telling drama :p

A NOT so important events:

We finished our Prelim exams last last week, I can't actually remember the exact date. I am not surprised with my grades, I expected it naman. I have one 3, and It's our effin NSTP subject. hate it!! Then, most of my grades are passed naman, so next time I'll study harder to improve my grades. Next week will be the start of our midterm exams.

Talking about school.. School is fun, especially when we are surrounded by TRUE friends. I never felt competence at all, I'm just enjoying every days new lesson.
I also realized that, everyday there is always something new to tell. But too bad I'm really tired when I got home from school that's why, I'm not able to post everything that happened to me.

And atlast after waiting for 5 years, my crush noticed me na !! I'm so happy coz before, I think, he doesn't know that I'm existing. I'm so into him. But I know that we are just meant to be friends, and I don't ever expect that he would feel the same way too. I'm contented now for the little attention that he is giving to me.
Atleast, he knows na that I am existing :]

Ok, enough of the meenie reasons :D

Today:
I am late today in our subject in Profeth, but luckily they haven't start their discussion when I arrived. After that, Christian Bucayu, the Justin Bieber of our classroom, sung us a special song.

Kung ako'y mag aasawa,
ang pipiliin ko.. ang pipiliin ko,
anak ng doktor..
tusok nya ko, tusok ko sya
tusukan kaming dalawa..

Crazy dude !! hahaha :]

Imman and I together with Jhen, well they are my best buds!After our class, we went to SM Fairview. We went to National bookstore to buy some ballpens and folders. Then, we bought some foods in the supermarket, (arozcaldo for them and ginataang mais for me) . Then, we talked about alot of things, including our love stories and lives. Laughtrip all afternoon at the foodcourt. then after we eat, we went to the department store and other stores to find the perfect bathing suit and shorts for our acquiatance party in Laguna. But we couldn't find one. hahaha!! Then after that, Jhen told us that she needs to go to the comfort room, that's why we look for one.

Suddenly while we are in the escalator, i noticed one of my ex boyfriend. Nothing looks new to him. He is still the same Troy that I met 7 months ago. Then I was really surprised upon seeing him. I didn't expected that I would see him that day. Then I told Jhen that "hey that's the guy who played with me 7 months ago !!"

Nakakatawa kasi pababa yung excalator taz hinabol namin ni Jhen, pataas kasi sya nun galing sa baba. Muka talaga kaming tanga. Pero di namin sya naabutan. Tapos nun, nag cr na si Jhen. We headed to the foodcourt again and I confessed to my bestfriends. I told them that, It took me months to move forward. But I came to the point that I told myself that I should leave the effin past and forget about everything we've done. I even blocked him in my friends list.

Then while confessing I saw him pass by again. Then we stalked him, I want to find out what is he doing there. Walking without exact destination. I told myself, "maybe he is going to meet someone again, and as usual he will do the exact thing that he have done to me." Imman & Jhen, stalked him then I was about 5 meters away from them so he won't be able to see me. And to our dismay, he went home na.

We laugh to death. We just can't imagine that crazy idea of ours. After that, I don't no longer feel pity on myself. Atleast I am happy now, even without his presence. Coz I don't need a guy like him in my life.

My day has ended again, with good memories to share and new lessons to learn :]

Hello Kitty headset

2010-07-18T10:32:00.004+08:00

Goodmorning :)
It will be a quick post..
Thank God I passed our exam yesterday ^_^
Nothing much happened.
After our exam, Imman and I together with rowena and katith decided to go to the mall. We walk for almost 25 minutes. Honestly my feet aches because of that long walk, but because of my bestfriend's craziness, it vanished ^^,

After that, Imman and I went to look for CD options, coz I'm gonna buy some hello kitty stuffs. Then I bought this hello kitty headset.

i also told my suitor to stop..

that's all for today, i still have to review my notes for we have exams tomorrow.

A long leave..

2010-07-16T20:39:00.009+08:00

hey guys! sorry for the long long leave. I was busy these past few weeks, and yes a bit lazy too. I just wanna share all the things happened to me these past few days.

July 8,2010
My mom gave birth to my baby sister named Saydie Khalline.
How nice diba? Khalline was my nickname while it's her name.

here's some picture of her:

I was really happy when I saw my baby sister.
I guess, now i know what makes me really happy. It's saydie and my mom. They are my inspirations. They are the ones who makes my day complete. I always take care of her whenever my mom is going to do something. And hey! kissing her is my addiction :)

July 13,2010
I woke up as early as 4am in the morning, knowing that it was already 5am.. my actual waking up hour. I hurriedly took a bath, & ate my breakfast. After fixing myslef, I noticed that, It was still dark outside. Then, i went downstairs and holla.. It's quarter to five pa lang.

Then, coz of boredom.. I went to school na. My class starts at 8am so. Then, my trip will be 45 mins, so i came to school so early. I was the only one inside the building. Before I enter our classroom, I decided to go to the ladies room to freshen up my face, retouch and take a pee.

While I'm inside the cubicle and doing my thing, my crazy imagination reigns. I was imagining that there is a bloody lady peeping at the top of the cubicles door. I was scaring myself that morning. hahahaha!! Then, after that my other classmates arrive.

we were in the middle of discussion when my prof and one of my classmate had a war. A small conflict lang naman..
I'm not gonna mention the ones that is involve.. ZIP it baby!!

----♥♥♥----

We will have our prelim exams next week.
Well I hope we could all pass :]

I also enjoy Ms. Grace & Ms. Carol's company..
I really like the way they teach us our lessons.
Oh.. before I forgot, I also like Ma'am Lina, our communication arts professor. No questions ok? haha.. some of my classmates doesn't like her, maybe because of her strictness. But for me, It's ok lang :]
"Love the way they call my surname.." awwwryt!

This is my bestfriend Imman :]
Well, he doesn't look so naughty in our picture but trust me, he is very naughty rather (makulit). We are also seatmates, but when it is discussion time were serious, well not really "that" serious, quiet rather. But, hell yeah when everytime that we are together, there are no quiet times. Even we are talking about serious stuffs, he always add craziness to it. That's why I can't help myself but to laugh everytime he does crazy things.

I think it was yesterday.. We went to Story land, together with our other fellow classmates. Then, his craziness ruled the whole place again. He keeps on bumping the coin machine, to earn tickets. Jen & I laugh to death. Geeee, if you saw Imman that time, you will also laugh to death.

Oh it's late.. It's time to take a quick rest and a peek on my handout..

Currently:
Chatting w/ Imman on facebook..

Now Playing:
Gone w/the wind by Riz ft. Iyaz

Long Mia..

2010-07-05T20:49:00.004+08:00

Hey guys.. sorry for the long mia. I never knew that college would be busy like this. But like what others say, "expect the unexpected". You know guys, actually there's alot of stories to tell everyday. Though I have time to blog, (thanks to my time management) still I am a bit lazy to post something or even to visit my blog. You see, full load ako so even on saturdays I have classes. As I told on my previous post about my first day, my campus is kinda far from our house so I have to wake up as early as 5 am, which is I consider as a miracle coz, I didn't saw myself to be so disciplined like this before *clap* *clap* ..
Every morning, when I'm on my way to school. There's so much things to share.
One of the things that affects me most, is whenever I saw kids or elderly who is stirring up some garbage and looking for something that they could sell at junk shops. I suddenly remember my first week as a college girl. I'm always at the mall, spending my money with nonsense things. I just realized that, I'm so lucky to have something to spend while some are working hard early in the morning just to earn coins. I feel so sorry for myself. And because of that, I'm avoiding the temptation of spending too much.
Secondly, like what I mentioned on my profile page. I'm a deep observer. I silently observe my surroundings. And the result of my observation in our class, I noticed that some of my classmates were falling inlove with one another, secret crushes, etc. But for me, in my own opinion. It's justa big infatuation.. why? because we do know each other for almost a week, so how can you convince me that you are inlove with that person? without knowing him or her?

True love takes time..

Me? even though I am surrounded by good looking guys, and intelligent ones. Still, I can't feel the essence of LOVE. though there are some guys who is asking for my permission if they could court me, I don't allow them. Why? simply because I don't wanna get involve with relationship thingys. I guess that I am not emotionally ready. Unlike before, when I was in highschool. If someone that is handsome courts me, hell yeah!! were on. that's why I always end up crying. But thanks anyway to those experiences, atleast now I know how to handle things and my feelings.

Like what our professor in professional ethics told us last saturday..
"Don't allow your heart to take over your mind."

Before I forgot. We have this classmate named PJ who is .. umh.. I don't know how to introduce him, but even though teasing me is a part of his daily routine, i know deep inside that he is a nice person. Some of my friends called him weirdo. Maybe because of his looks and attitude. But, were good friends. His bullies are improving and I'm just ignoring it. I guess he feels total happiness whenever he does those things :)

Oh well.. I have to sleep na.
I'm gonna comment on your post whenever I have free times.
Maybe tomorrow before I go home.
Thank you again for supporting and visiting My Lullaby ^_^

I can't tell you what I really feel :'(

2010-06-25T20:13:00.010+08:00

Hey guys!! I'm back! I've had a long week, 5 tired days.. but so far everything is fine. I'm so thankful to have them as my classmates & my new set of friends. I really do enjoy their company. We always go to the mall after our classes. FUN,FUN,FUN.. Wenna and I together with our classmates always sings karaoke, play at story land :)

Speaking of fun. We also do enjoy our subjects. The flow chart thingys in COPRO1, the venn diagram of ALGEBRA, and so much more. I looooveee my instructors too! Especially our prof in Communication Arts. I really love language proficiency. First, coz I want to enhance my knowledge in english, secondly to improve my english as well as my grammar, pronunciation, and vocabulary.

By the way here are some photos of ours :)

Did you noticed the title? Curious eh?
I'm confused. Sometimes, there are things that we shouldn't tell or even express for the sake of something much more important. Did you ever experience the "What if thingys?". I'm currently on the hows, what if, & should I stage. I want to tell someone something. But, nevermind.
Everything seems nice when that someone is around. By the way, I'm contented for what we have right now. Besides, I'm not in a hurry. If he can wait, much better. Coz I wanna make sure that I'm emotionally ready.

Those past experiences seems to be a nightmare for me. Everytime that I'll remember those memories of ours, It gives me hell. How I wish, I didn't met them. If only I knew that I'll be suffering that much, If only I can turn back time, I would choose not to met them. And now, look at me. I don't even believe in promises. You cannot blame me because, you didn't experiences the things that I've been through. Maybe some of you doesn't know the feeling of being cheated, & leaved without particular & acceptable reason.

Should I give that someone a chance?
or should I ignore it without giving him one?

If we fall inlove..

2010-06-25T19:03:00.005+08:00

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay away from. In life, many of us has experienced going through a love relationship. Some are fortunate enough to have found the most perfect partner while some find it so heart-breaking and physically exhausting especially when failing in their very first love.

First love is always the sweetest but at the same time can be the most hurting. Most of us, whom had bad experience with our first love always find it very hard to fall in love again, sometimes even in getting back to life, just like what I'm going through. Hopes and dreams were suddenly shattered. All of a sudden, life just seemed so meaningless. In worst-case scenario, extended to ending of one's life for some.
I once remember my classmate, our prof ask us If what is our motto, "LOVE is SUICIDE". That is her motto.

"Time can heal every wound", but how long does it takes? No one can tell you how long exactly, a long time is all they would say. Will the day ever come? That depends. The question is, even when you have healed that emotionally broken heart of yours, are you ready to accept a new relationship? Are you frozen in time? Some have totally lost that courage and faiths, holding themselves back even in a new relationship. Love is a game of chance, a game of uncertainty. You can never win if you are not willing to risk. But how can you take the risk, If you are always taken for granted?

To forget about the bad experience or rather to escape from reality, most would try to divert their focus on achieving something else in life very commonly their career, indulging themselves in work becoming a "workaholic". They believe that they could lead a happy and fruitful life; be able to fare well without the existence of love. Some are just enjoying their single life, bonding with their friends or family, treating themselves etc.

Let's face the truth. Can one live without love? They might be insincere with themselves. Do you think they can really make it and be successful in life? Of course for some, but chances are, a no for most. Remember, life is a journey not a destination and that's same for love. To be successful in life one has to learn to graciously accept failure, to learn and to grow from failures. Be readied to face new challenges ahead of us. You shouldn't shut yourself out just for the reason of a failure in love.

Be it a path of love or the path of life, they are subconsciously building an obstacle ahead and the sad thing is they are too blinded by that unpleasant memories to even realize it. Without first clearing this obstacle, it's really going to be difficult for them to perform well and to be happy in life. Time will soon pass by and leave them with tons of regrets.

Love can be a pushing force or a hindering force. It all depends on how you see it, how you want things to be. Isn't it nice to have lots of wonderful memories than tons of regrets in your later life? We should get ourselves out of the past and be existed in the future.

Learn and grow from bad experience instead without getting yourself got frozen in time. I'm sure there were sweet memories from your past relationship, how you both first kissed; the first time both hold each other hand etc?. But you must learn to accept that it is all from the past, a memory that was frozen back in time.

Love can be complicated yet it can be so simple. From time to time, we could eventually make it done by seeing things in its simpler form. Didn't you ever notice that a much simple-minded person is always happier than a smarter guy with high expectations? Because of his lighthearted character, he can accept things in its simpler form and is thus always readied to face challenges. You be surprised, sometimes it's such a person whom achieved more in life.

It goes the same way for love. Are you setting yourself too high an expectation unknowingly building an obstacle in your path of love? Well, I am not suggesting that having expectations is bad. But remember, no one in this world is perfect; you can't have the best of both worlds. Given between the world most beautiful girl with the evilest heart and a plain looking girl with the kindest soul, whom would you choose? Happiness is what you would have chosen I should believe? In life, you gain some you lose some.

Frozen back in time will lead us to compare between the past and the present, especially with our soul mates.

I'm avoiding these kind of feelings & things you know. But we just have atleast try it :)

I Love College :)

2010-06-21T17:52:00.005+08:00

Hey It's my first day in college & like what I've promised you guys.. I'm gonna post every single thing that happened today. First things first, I slept early last night. 10:00 pm seems early to me then suddenly I woke up by 12:03 am then I can't go back to sleep na. Then I decided to drink some hot milk, but It was still useless . By 3am I felt sleepy na, but while I'm in the middle of my sweet dream, my phone suddenly alarmed It's 4:30 in the morning. I was really annoyed! I have no choice I have to buy my breakfast. But too bad the bakery is still close. I just bought spaghetti and drank some milk for my breakfast.

I hurriedly took a bath then, fix myself, splash some make up then I'm ready !! I rode a jeepney this morning. While I'm on my way to school, I was really irritated coz the driver was driving so fast. I guess I'm having a rough time this morning but the aura change when I entered my campus. There were alot of students waiting outside the campus, some are chatting, asking for their perspective rooms, some are just standing , texting and observing their surroundings. I hurriedly asked the guard for direction. Well my classroom is located at the 4th floor of the main building. I was a bit nervous upon entering the building, with every footsteps there's a little palpitation hahaha!! Then here's the main drama, I entered the classroom, there were alot of students na inside the classroom so they all stared at me. But I used my killer smile wohohoo.. I smiled at them confidently. I also met my first friend that time, her name is michelle. Then after that I also met Yman, Ralph ofcourse, Wenna, and i can't totally remember all of their names. But I'm pretty comfortable with them.

Morning:
Actually while were waiting for our instructor to come in, we saw this weird guy. He keeps on asking us what is our first subject. Most of us answered CIWETS 1 or Citizens Welfare Training Service 1, then some answered COPRO1. Then he became confuse. And woolah, he stand in the front and introduce himself as our instructor in CIWETS1. hahaha... silly one :) I forgot his name e.. sorry sir.

then, Ms. Carolyn our Computer Programming instructor. She's pretty and jolly. Actually she keeps on smilling everytime she's talking with us.

and last Ms. Grace, our class adviser and Algebra1 instructor. Her energy was thrice as Ms. Carolyn. She is pretty too, and I love the way she talks. She is very kind, well i hope I'm right with my first impression :) just kidding!!

The instructors were not that strict (*clap*)(*clap*).. Regular classes will start tomorrow so better get ready for the ~~real~~ battle.. hahaha :)Plus, after our classes Michelle, weena, ralph, yman, katith & I went to the mall to eat lunch. After that Ralph & I went home na for my ulcer aches :'( poor me.

P.S: Our section is BT105A with 37 students: 8 girls & the rest are boys.. there were alot of cute guys in our class :)

Just let it go..

2010-06-20T01:28:00.004+08:00

As I was saying in my previous post, maybe It is better to follow the golden rule before we jump to another relationship. It could be 3 months or more. It's been 2 months since my last boyfriend and I broke up. I'm not that affected, though those past few months I'm still thinking of the man who broke my heart and scattered it into pieces. It wasn't my previous ex boyfriend. It was my ex boyfriend before Alfred. But, I leaved all the shits behind. I don't wanna include him in my present life. Besides there will be alot of things to think rather than him. I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. Though I'm still the girl that my friend knew, who is sweet, understanding, love & life adviser and kind, I must leave all of my weakness.
First, I easily fall even though they don't put efforts on it, I love them without knowing them deeper, then I easily believed in their lies.

I don't wanna experience it anymore. For It gave me heart and headaches. I'll confess to you guys that, yes I also thought of playing games with a heart whom I knew that loves me. Why? because I want to know what kind of happiness is he feeling everytime he's telling me all of his stupid lies. But I had second thoughts. I was afraid that It might come back to me, in other words karma. I keep asking myself what's wrong.. My mom told me that there's nothing wrong with me, but I need to keep something for myself. Don't give everything, don't sacrifice too much. It will just hurt me in the end.

That's why I post love advices on my blog. Coz I want to share what I knew about this kind of experiences. And I'm so thankful because of the comments that I'm receiving from my readers.

Sometimes I admit, i don't believe that relationships would really lasts. Maybe because of my past experiences then, I was surrounded my people who is unlucky when It comes to love. Whatever the reason is, I don't care.

Who knows what will happen next?...

Enough of that..

Well I'm totally excited, can't wait to enter college..
2 nights to go.. wish me luck on my first day :)

3 months golden rule..

2010-06-19T16:02:00.005+08:00

Hey I'm back action :)
My topic for today is all about the The Golden Rule to get over a relationship break up.

Having a relationship break up is like going through grief. Contrasting grieving and getting over a break up, you can probably see why. In both cases you lose someone you loved and you're unwilling to let them go.

You firstly need to be aware that break ups are a part of relationships and life. Acknowledge relationships end all the time. You probably wouldn't have been able to experience the wonderful feelings you had with the partner you are breaking up with if you hadn't ~~broken up~~ with someone before. The same can be said for your future partner. You won't be able to experience the wonderful times and emotions with them if you don't get over your broken relationship.

Having truly realized that break ups happen and more importantly that they will happen to you, it's time to tell yourself the golden rule of getting over a break up.

What is even worse then being resistant to getting over the person yet wanting to not get over them is not being aware of the mental tug-o-war game within you. The internal conflict within yourself will leave you ~~frustrated~~ and not in control of your thoughts and emotions. You'll be uncertain of getting back together with your old partner while being unwilling to move on and enjoy your life by yourself or with another partner.

You have to be certain of yourself and know what you want. Don't destroy the golden rule. Ask yourself questions and be fully aware of what is making you resistant to emotionally releasing yourself from the person such as "What makes me still attracted to the person?", "Why can't I get over him/her?", and "What do I like about the person?" to develop an understanding of yourself. Ask yourself other questions that you think will help clarify your emotions and thoughts.

When everything is clear, It is more easier for you to know what you really want. You can now chose your destination without ~~hesitations~~ & you will no longer have that second thoughts.

Being Immature

2010-06-16T14:44:00.004+08:00

I guess I'm being immature with my past relationships. Hoping that my present relationship with someone will last long. Why immature? It's because I've noticed in my past posts that I'm always including them in my future which is wrong. Maybe because that time I loved them. That's why I uttered those words.

Especially in my facebook profile.. there are times that I'll put ~~married~~ in my relationship status. Funny and so immature. Then, basta.. there are so much things and words that is not appropriate.

I've erased some of my post about my past relationships which I found out really helpful in able for me to forget them easily. While I'm reading my posts about them yesterday, I still felt the bitterness, which may affect my future. I also remembered my friend once told me that: "If you want to forget someone or something, you must first erased all of his memories, whether It's good or bad.. But never regret."

I guess he's right.

How can I start, If I'm still trapped in my past. Though I'm in the process of moving forward, sometimes I admit that I'm still feeling the pain.
It's not enough to erased them in reality, what I need to do is to erase them in my life.

I know that I'll be really busy during my college life. Plus, our business, my family especially with my baby sister, and work. I'll forget him for sure. How I wish he could also experience the pain that I'm feeling right now, but I'll just move on instead.

New Journey

2010-06-15T12:08:00.005+08:00

Hi guys!! Sorry for the long mia..In terms of work, house chores and laziness. I've been busy with our family business, and yes my mom needs me to take care of our internet cafe and canteen. I voluntarily work as a staff in our net cafe.

Btw.. I was really dismayed. Supposedly our classes will start today, but my other classmates and schoolmates told me that, classes will start next monday. I was really ~~pissed off~~ hahaha !! I want to go to school badly. I'm really bored at home, but luckily I'm working na. Though we have these kind of businesses, still I want to be a working student. I'm planning to work as a call center agent, wew.. hahaha!! Enough of that..

College.. oh college.. I know you'll be more interesting than ~~highschool~~. Challenging ofcourse. btw.. thanks to all of my affies who commented on my previous posts.

What can I say..
Oh.. before I forgot. Last saturday, I've dreamed about my ex boyfriend.We had a little chit chat and he told me that " I think we made a good decision. Breaking up with you and ending these relationship seems to be the right idea. I'm sorry dear, but It's the best thing to do. " He's right. I don't even deserve he's ~~undying~~ lies. It doesn't really matter If I don't have this boyfriend and relationship thingys.. Well, I'm just enjoying my life. No heartaches, no headaches.

Another news:
My mom will give birth to my baby sister by the end of the month. I'm really excited to see her. I will show her how beautiful our world is. They are my inspiration in life, that's why I'll study harder not just to fulfill my dreams but also to give them a much better life.

College plans:
I'm planning to join the photography and english club.. wish me luck :)
And, because my school is kinda far from home I have to wake up ~~4:30~~ in the morning,coz I have to ride a bus for almost 1 hr. My classes starts at 8am and i don't wanna be late. I hope I can be more responsible this time. I have to sleep early na.. huhuhu :'( But I'll manage everything to have enough time for blogging and other extra activities of my life. More time with my family I guess.
No more worries about being thrifty for I am thrifty since high school. I don't spend my allowance with nonsense things, unless It's hello kitty and other personal needs. Like, beauty kits, clothes and so much more.

Everything will change as I enter college. Well not as in everything. I expected the outdoor activities, out of town trips, lots and lots of school papers and works.

I miss my dad..really. I hope he's ok and we'll meet each other soon

Rebound

2010-06-15T12:05:00.001+08:00

A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends.
Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in love and more than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in love when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.

If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their previous relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like love but they are still impacted by unsettled feelings from the past.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has recently broken off a long term relationship, be cautious. Don’t allow your new relationship partner to set the pace. If you do, you will find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind.

If you are single, out there looking for love and longing for a committed relationship you probably won’t find what you desire from someone on the rebound. If you do become involved with such a person be sure to let the relationship develop slowly and to take care of yourself emotionally.
Masking Your Pain..This is the biggest problem in a rebound relationship. Usually someone ends up being used and hurt as a result. If you are in a relationship to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Be honest with your new relationship partner about your intentions.

So sweety, If you're not emotionally involve don't jump into another relationship if you are not ready to have a new one :)

Crush..

2010-06-15T11:18:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!! I'm back!! Sorry for not updating these past few days. Well I'm busy with our family business. And It's like ~~aaaarrrrggghh~~. Btw.. here's my first come back post.

When you have a crush, it's important to remember that it is just a fantasy. That way you can enjoy it for what it is - a pleasant diversion.. You may be thinking love, but in reality it's more likely to be lust that's fueling your crush. And if you get too enmeshed in the crush, and can't distinguish fantasy from reality, you might be headed for heart break.

A crush can be very unsatisfying. It could end up as unrequited love. Or if you act on your crush and start pursuing the object of your desire, you might find that the actual person can't live up to the perfect image of that person you have put up on a pedestal in your mind.

So if you do decide to act on your crush keep an open mind. The object of your crush probably won't be the person you imagined them to be. But they might be an exciting proposition nonetheless.
And if you decide not to approach your crushee, just revel in the fantasy. A crush will certainly make your life more interesting. The prospect of a chance encounter makes the senses tingle.
First of all, you need to really let this concept sink into your head: it doesn't matter whether he likes you or not. You can MAKE him like to as much or as little as YOU want.

Much *kisses*

Oh College ..

2010-06-10T00:03:00.004+08:00

And hey.. 5 more days and classes will soon start. I know, there will be alot of adjustments this time because I'm a college gal na. I need to practice my time management, and knowing my responsibility as well. ~~Procrastination~~ is a big NO-NO. When I was in highschool, I was really lazy that's why I keep on cramming everytime I need to do things that supposedly done a week or a month ago. I need to change that attitude. Need to organize everything neh? It will be a big challenge for me.

I'm a bit excited & sort of ~~nervous~~ but hell yeah!! No one cares about how I feel. I'm sure some of you feel the same way too. Being independent is a tough work, but as long as you believe in yourself nothings impossible. Well, I'm hoping to have a great circle of friends just like in highschool. I'm socially active so I guess nothing to worry about that.

There's alot of bad memories during my highschool life, alot of head aching problems, heart aches, irritating people but I'll just forget about it. Leave it all behind.. But, thanks to those effin creatures anyway. Because of you, I became a stronger and a braver person. I thank God coz finally, those dark pages and chapters of my life are over. I hope this is the start of a better life. I know It wouldn't be easy, coz It will be my stepping stones for my future.

Maybe I'm not gonna be that active in blogging when classes starts but I'll make sure to comment on your posts and respond to your tags. Just keep on visiting my blog, commenting on my posts and tagging. I'll promise to post something interesting in my spare times. I would organize everything to spend enough time in posting new topics, including love advices, & other amusing topics.

That's all for now :)

I think I'm falling for my bestfriend

2010-06-07T11:55:00.006+08:00

I know this is hard and painful, but we can't force someone to love us just because we love them.
Sometimes, we all have to realize that the right person will come along for us.
While we are waiting for this magical event, we have to work on ourselves non-stop to be the best person we can possibly be while we are waiting.
That means doing things to build our self-confidence by succeeding in our life activities.
It's painful to hang out with someone that you really love especially when he or she knows that you have this something special feelings for her/him but still she/he wants your friendship to remain the same.
Get involved with new people and new activities and try to build a life separate from her/him.
She may even look at the new you and think.
Wasting your life mooning after them will just make you seem pathetic to them and you don't want that.
You could play a little harder to get and they may even start wondering why you are not panting over them as much as you used to.
The more you move on, the more appealing you will become, not just to him/her, but to everybody else.

This post were based on my own experience.

Single means "No worries"

2010-06-06T02:53:00.004+08:00

Being single means you give yourself a chance to find out who you are and what you’re looking for in a relationship,..It means avoiding the pressures that inevitably come with a relationship.
Waiting for a serious relationship means you’re not trying to do something you’re not ready for. It means that instead of trying to act the part of an older person, you can be free to be yourself.I chose to remain single because, right now, I’m looking for things in a relationship, like close friendship.
I also realized the time commitment of being in a relationship. When you devote so much time to one person, it becomes hard to find time for people and activities that once played a larger part in your life. I also want to wait to be in a relationship only when I'm ready to be emotionally involved.

I love to be single, mostly because I’m free to flirt with just about anybody I want. LOL.. Just kidding :)I’m kind of an independent person, so I don’t want to be tied down. Free spirit—that’s how you’d describe me. I have fun; I enjoy life. But, most importantly, I’m being me, not what others want me to be. I love being single and not having to always have a boyfriend.

So many people are depressed, sad, and lonely because they don’t have somebody.
They think that once they finally find someone, they will be happy -- and they will have no troubles. Well I’m writing this for all of you people today.
It may be true that having someone can help add to your happiness and fulfillment. I believe that can occur and does occur when you find the right person that suits you.
But I can also recall a lot of people that are in relationships and they are miserable. They’re not happy at all. In fact, it’s like they are in prison. Many of them are trapped and they’d give anything to be single. They’d give anything to be in your shoes today.

And to end this post. i realized that, I don't need a boyfriend either. All I need is my family, a couple of friends, myself & God. I want to enjoy life without thinking of my boyfriends reaction. I'm not ready to be committed again.

Happily never after

2010-06-06T02:06:00.003+08:00

What is attractive about a person is their character, their strengths, their goals, their beliefs. In some cases, it may be external things, and yet, for the most part, it is who they are and all of the richness they bring into the world and share with another. That is what you brought to this relationship in the first place. Who you became over time was a person who is in love with this other person, rather than a man of character, virtue, ideas, and goals.

Break up?You have not done anything wrong or bad. This happens naturally for people in relationships when they are not strong and certain about who they are and about their character and strengths. Those become lost in the course of a relationship. For you, it would be best to allow your fairy tale to read onto the next page where it says, ‘And they lived happily ever after. The End.’ You close the book and say, ‘That was a nice story.’ And you move on.

Be thankful to your heart for knowing this person and for having learned that in the course of falling deeply and wonderfully in love, you lose yourself. Then go about your life, without this person, rediscovering your strengths, your character, your virtues and goals. Focus on these and strengthen these. They are already
instilled within you in a very deep way.

Rediscover within you all of these things. You are the person that you want to get to know. When you feel strong and confident in who you are, bring that into the world and allow another relationship to unfold in your life, being mindful not to lose yourself in the process. It is not to be self-centered when you step into a relationship, but to continue to make yourself, your relationship with God, your family, your studies, your goals, and your priorities as important as they truly are.

You have everything within you that you need to accomplish this. It is only for you to make the decision and take the time to do this :)

Frozen in time

2010-06-06T00:47:00.003+08:00

Let fate decide?

2010-06-06T00:15:00.002+08:00

One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love? What is its exact definition? Well, there can never be a definite answer. Everyone got his or her own answer to it. To some it can be really simple while to others, it can get really complicated. But one definite thing that is for sure, everybody needs love. It is a basic human need; we are not born into this world to be alone. It has always been our natural instinct as human to reach out to people, to be with and accepted by others. Consciously or subconsciously, everyone is searching and waiting for that special someone to appear in his or her life.

But where and when will this special someone appear? For all you may know, he or she could be just nearby or even just beside you. It all depends on fate a lot would say. Fate? Well fate is again, something that cannot be explained, something that is always so amazing. Think about it. Among the millions and millions of people who could be out there, why is it that you had somehow met your friends to later become the best of friends? Got retrenched, feeling so terrible and disappointed but to later find your love among your new colleagues in your new job? Life has just suddenly become so beautiful? Well, this is indeed a very true encounter of a friend of mine. Hmm– thinking about it, isn't there also kind of a fate between you and me that you are actually reading this post right now? Everything is like all so miraculously arranged, having a reason behind every event that happened.

Do you believe in fate? Personally I definitely do. But again, are we really going to be just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for fate to just come by? Well, I wouldn't think so. If you are not going to help yourself, who is going to? Fate has always been around us. As long as we are in places where there are people, presence it may be. Many at times, it had actually been there but somehow we just didn't realized and cherished it when it was there. Sad to know of it, isn't it so? Well, sometimes we were just too obsessed with our works, dreams and nevertheless too high an expectation that we missed to see it, to cherish that someone who was all along just beside you. It's only too late to realize it now, an opportunity won't drop by twice. Your happiness lies in your own hand, don't live your life a regret. I am sure you wanna have a life that is so full of fond memories than with tons of regrets, don't you? Think about it..

Remember, love has always been a game ever awaiting your participation. Just as in life, it is a game of chance; if you never try you can never win. Well if you did not find your love today, be disappointed do not. It's just like missing the last boat leaving the dock. There will always be another one to pick you up the next morning? And always will there be..

Breaking & Moving on tips :)

2010-06-04T21:53:00.004+08:00

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks?

1. Avoid the former love.
Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.
Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.

2. Cry if you want to.
It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.

3. Let go of mementos.
Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.

4. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex.
When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?

5. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying.
Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.

6. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship.
Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.

7. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it.
Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.
Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you’ll be just fine.

There you go, hope this tips will help you move on. It is better to leave those effin bitches than to cry over them.

Relationship-related issues part.2

2010-06-04T14:08:00.003+08:00

These are the questions that my friends used to asked me.. Just wanna share some ..
Again.. in my own opinion and based on my experiences lang ang mga naka sulat dito. So, I don't need any violent reaction or else.. I will bite you! hahaha.. just kidding :D

1. " Bakit despite of his selfishness & lies eh Mahal mo pa din? "

Siguro kasi like what I told you guys a million times, he promised me alot of things. And naniwala talaga ako. If I only knew that he will dump me like that, I killed him na! And after that experience, parang I lose my trust na to other guys. Maybe because I am surrounded by some so called no contentment idiots. Hindi ko din alam kung bat minahal ko sya ng ganun, eh kung tutuusin, wala syang kwenta. Siguro, It takes time to forget those effin lies. No need to elaborate. What's important, is I'm starting to forget na. Pa unti-unti, I'm getting over him.

Congratulate me fellas! (*clap*) (*clap*)

2. " Ang galing mo mag advice tapos, di mo magawa sa sarili mo."

Let's admit it guys. Lahat tayo magaling mag advice pag wala tayo sa situation na yon. We keep on telling our peeps na, move on ka na, he's not deserving, don't waste your time thinking of that bitch, etc. Then, look at me. Hindi ko ma apply yung mga advice na pinag sasabi ko sa mga kaibigan ko. Hindi pala madali. HAHAHA! kal mo first time ma inlove noh? well.. that's life.. we should keep on searching even though we think were lost :)

3. " Bakit di mo bigyan ng chance yung mga guys na willing manligaw sayo?"

Dati, when someone asked me "What will you choose, the guy you love or the one who loves you? " .. & I'll answer them with the guy who loves me! But, you see.. It's kinda hard to love somebody especially when you don't feel something special for them. I can least try but, sorry to tell. I cant. I'm not inlove with somebody else, I just want to be alone. It's not really important kung may boyfriend ako or wala. As long as I'm happy, it doesn't matter at all.

4. " Bakit ayaw mo pang magpaligaw sa iba? "

Kasi.. this time I want to be fair on both sides. Besides, di pa ulit tumitibok yung puso ko. I mean di ko pa feel na inlove ako. Darating din yan, sabi nga ng kaibigan ko na si Karlo "be patient, matuto kang maghintay. Parang pag aabang lang yan sa tamang sasakyan mo. Hintayin mo yung byahe sa gusto mong destinasyon."

Kaya.. naisip ko, tama sya. Tutal di naman ako papanaw pag wala akong boyfriend.
Good girl na ko :)

5. " Tell me the truth! Mahal mo pa din ba sya? "

Hindi na.. sigurado na ko dito. Hindi natatapos sa kanya ang buhay ko. At ayokong masira to dahil sa kanya.. Anu sya? si Coco Martin? with the YUM!! factor? Kamuka nya lang dream guy ko, pero mas worse pa sya demunyu :D

6. " Kung mag ppromise sya na di ka na nya sasaktan, are you willing to give him another chance? "

Para ko na ding pinatay yung sarili ko for the 2nd time. Para san pa? para lokohin ulit ako ng bonggang bongga? NO WAY!! Kahit sabihin nya pang, hawig na hawig nya yung dream guy ko. Di na ko makikipag balikan. Tama na yung minsan. Tutal, di naman sya marunong maka appreciate at wala syang contentment. Makakarma din yun!!

After sharing these things.. sarap sa feeling hahaha!! Mas ok pang maging single, kesa naman magkaron ka ng boyfriend na flirt, malandi, kumakalantari, ang hilig chumorva, feeling gwapo at playboy

He doesn't deserve true love, for he doesn't know how to love

A Love Letter

2010-06-04T05:03:00.005+08:00

As the day fades away and slips into night, I find myself once again clinging to my prayers. Every night I pray to God that He will keep you in His arms. I pray that He keeps you out of harm, way until we can finally be together again.

deeply in my heart i have been trying to distinguish the sameness and the difference of having you held tight and not that so tight in my shy hands, and i have come to see beyond the darkness of my soul's night that you are the one, the only one who is responsible for my pains, my happiness, my dreams, and even my hope.

Another night without you by my side ... sometimes I do not have a clue about how I will be able to pull through this, or where I will get the strength to make it through the empty days and lonely nights. The day when we will be together again is all that I always hope for , it will be heaven, and then I will be complete again.

Good Morning :)

2010-06-04T04:57:00.000+08:00

Nothing in ur life that u won’t be able to handle, as long as u keep God inside ur heart. God is enough!

some relationship related issues

2010-06-03T00:13:00.002+08:00

Lahat ng nakasulat dyan ay base lamang sa aking experiences. So if there's any violent reactions, dun kayo sa presinto mag reklamo dahil It's my own opinion lang.

1. Kailan ka dapat mag let go or mag quit sa isang relationship?

♣ Simple kapag wala na ang isa sa mga importanteng component ng isang relationship...
" TRUST " oh..dba? Sa totoo lang, every relationship, even friendship is bound to fall apart when you start keeping things.. Secret doesn't destroy anything, alam mo kung ano? Suspicion. Diba am I right?

♣ Pag wala ng spark ang relasyon niu, pag wala ka ng nararamdamang something special for your partner. Kung alam mo naman na deep inside of yourself na di kana happy, well It's time na talaga to quit. Saka if you know naman the answer, what is your F*****G reason for staying in that relationship diba? Ikaw lang ang mag ssuffer at the end. Jan na lalabas ang " BLAMING " factor.

♣ Pero syempre bago ka mag quit, dapat pag isipan mo muna ito ng hundred times. Kung sure ka na ba sa gagawin mo, kung ito ba talaga ang gusto mo, kung ito nalang ba ang natitirang option diba? Sabi nga nila ang pagsisisi nasa huli, kaya think think muna:D .. Kung sa tingin mo tama naman ang decision mo go for it, pero kung my doubt ka pa, try to seek advice from your parents or close friends.

♣ " Alam mo ng sinasaktan ka nia, pero wala kang ginagawa.. At sana kalimutan mo na sya ". Hay nako itu nag pinaka nakakaloka sa lahat ng nakakaloka! " MARTIR EFFECT ". Ayan na , niloloko ka na ng harap harapan, di ka pa ba mag lelet go? Wag kang magpaka manhid! Bad yan, hindi ka bubunutan ng ipin para maging manhid.

2. Ano ang mas matimbang.. Kaibigan o girlfriend/boyfriend?

♣ Matimbang ba kamo? Depende sa situation. Bakit nga ba minsan ayaw ng mga kaibigan natin kay boyfriend o girlfriend? madaming dahilan. Pero kadalasan kaya sila ganun, kze naman they care so much about us. Like dun sa experience ko. Nung una palang nag warning na sila sakin na, " hey masasaktan ka lang jan sis ". Ayun dahil sa makulit talaga ako, pinag patuloy ko pa din. Naging happy naman din ako sa relasyon na yun before. Pero naging malaki yung epekto ng pag bboyfriend kong yun sa friendship namin. Dumating pa nga sa point na, kailangan ko ng umiwas sa kanila kase masyadong seloso yung bf cu nun. Nahirapan din akong mag balance. Isa rin sa mga naging dahilan ng break up namin, e yung pinapili nya ko. Kaibigan o sya. Mas pinili ko kaibigan ko. Bakit pag nag hiwalay ba kami, mabibigyan nya pa ko ng mga tapat na kaibigan? Yung kahit umiiyak na ko mapapatawa pa ko? Di naman diba? Why choose the NON deserving guy? Saka It's a sh*t na papiliin ka noh! Bago pa maging kayo, alam na nyang magkakaibigan kayo, then puputulin mo yung bond na yun para mapanatag lang loob nya? woooooohhh.. litse:D

3. Anung reaction mo sa taong di pinapakinggan ang explanation ng partner nia?

♣ Iisa lang ang sagot jan. Tulad ng sinabi ng mga kaibigan ko, self centered at selfish. Hello! go to hell.. nakakaloka ng bonggang bongga ang question na to! hehehe.. Acu di naman acu, ganun ka expert sa mga relationship problems. Binabase cu lang sa mga naging experience ko. Sobrang nakakainis ang mga taong di ka pinapakinggan. Yung tipong di ka pa tapos mag explain eenter na agad. Kaya nag kakaron ng misunderstanding. Dapat once na nagpaliwanag si partner, you should listen, wag muna magtanong. Ask her/him after ng explanation. Saka dapat lagi kayong may open communication. Panu pa mag kakagana magpaliwanag yung isa kung, mag dadakdak ka ng mag dadakdak jan diba? Nakaka walang gana na kausap.

♣ Naranasan ko na din yan. Panu nag papaliwanag ako, then nag ingay ba naman ng parang bata. Diba? gawain ba yun ng matinong tao? Salita ka ng salita, ginagawa mo lahat para maayos, then nag aact sya na parang 3 years old?. wooooohhh.. Nilayasan ko sya nun, taz sinabihan ba naman akong bumalik! Loko nga. Ikaw try mong mag salita sa taong wala namang balak makinig sayo, anung feeling? Muka ka lang gago diba? hay naku!

4. Anu nga ba ang meaning ng sacrifice?

♣ Sacrifice..hmmm.. Yung pag saskripisyo ng isang bagay na mahalaga sayo:D
Pero tek muna... Pag isipang mabuti kung dapat ba itong isakripisyo. Kasi may mga bagay na pag na isakripisyo, mahirap ng ibalik. Tulad ng pagkakaibigan. May ibat ibang situation ng pag sasacrifice ng friendship. Like, pag nagkagusto ka sa bFf mu syempre nakakatakot na baka pag nagtapat ka ng feelings mo, baka iwasan ka naman nya. Kaya lang minsan dapat mo din ipag tapat yun. Who knows, baka love ka rin nya? . Minsan naman yung papipiliin ka ni gf/bf between them and your friends diba? Naranasan ko na din yan. Pinili ko kaibigan ko. Kasi naman yung guy hindi deserving sakin, saka hello.. bata pa mii! dami pa iba jan.. Mg 44th year highschool pa cu, mag cocollege pa cu.. haba haba pa ng life nuh! kaya why waste sa wualang wentang tao?

5. Tama lang bang umiwas sa mga kaibigan para maiwasan ang selos factor between you and your partner?

♣ Isang malaking katarantaduhan ang iwasan ang mga kaibigan dahil sa bf/gf!
Isipin mo nga. Pag iniwan mo sila, sino nalang ang mag cocomfort sayo pag may problema ka? Sinu nalang mag papatawa sayo kapag malungkot ka?. At bf/gf jan lang yan eei! dame dame.. Ang true friends kumbaga sa tarsier endangered species na:D

How to avoid depression..

2010-06-02T23:36:00.001+08:00

1. Offer goodwill to Others.

If we seek to make others miserable how can we expect to be happy ourselves? If we offer goodwill to other people this creates a powerful positive energy. Focusing on other people’s good qualities can definitely help improve our own state of mind. There is a principle that what we give out, we get back. Therefore, by offering positive energy to, at some time, we will also be the recipient.

2. Learn to Detach from Thoughts

Thoughts play a very significant role in determining our state of mind. If we pursue negative thoughts then we give them greater power and influence over our state of being. However, it is possible to decide which thoughts to allow and which to reject. We have to learn to be vigilant and prevent negative thoughts from taking hold. As soon as we become aware of negative thoughts we should let go of them. We can imagine that we are throwing them out of our mind into a cosmic dustbin.

3. Keep Busy.

If we struggle to detach from negative thoughts we should just throw ourselves into other activities. When we get involved in other activities that we enjoy it takes us out of ourselves. Activity forces us to do something constructive, and does not allow us to dwell on our depressed state of mind.

4. Avoid Feelings of guilt.

If we have made a mistake, harbouring feelings of guilt will not help alleviate the situation. In particular, we are seeking to avoid feelings of guilty for minor events of no significance. Often we have done nothing wrong, but, others seek to make us feel guilty for their bad fortune. Instead of feeling guilty we should seek to concentrate on doing the right thing.

5. Live a Balanced Life.

In life we need to make room for different aspects. If we focus all our time and energy on work then we will have no time for relaxation and cultivating other aspects of our life. If we pursue an unbalanced life unhappiness is more likely to occur.

6. Don’t Base your Happiness solely on other people.

If we expect to gain happiness from another person, at some time, we are bound to be disappointed. If bad relationships end, we should see it as an opportunity to move on. It is no use dwelling on what might have been. It is also a mistake to feel that we can change somebody to match our preferences. If we seek to change a person fundamentally we will just feel frustrated when we fail.

7. Share Problems

Good friendships can offer tremendous help. Especially, if we can have 1 or 2 friends who are able and willing to listen to our problems. Our friends will not be able to solve our problems. However, simply having someone to talk to and share difficulties is a tremendous help in being able to work through our own problems.

8. Cultivate Happiness.

To avoid depression we have to focus on the alternative which is happiness. The problem is that when we are depressed, the idea of happiness seems a million miles away. But, sometimes if we can force a smile or try to be insincerely happy, we can trick the mind and force happiness to descend; and after a while we start to achieve real happiness.

Happiness
Will follow you
If your heart remains
Undisturbed by trifles.

- Sri Chinmoy

9. Have Low Expectations.

Depression often occurs because our desires remain unfulfilled. The more desires we have, the more likely we are to be disappointed. After disappointment comes a sense of frustration and depression. If we minimise our desires then we will not be prone to disappointment. This does not mean we cannot strive for excellence and achieve things. We definitely should strive to achieve various accomplishments. However, we should try to have an attitude of detachment to the outcome. Nor should we expect people to behave in a certain way.

10. Don’t Dwell On the Negative.

This is the key to avoiding depression. If we focus always on negative things this will eventually filter through into our state of mind. Negativity can be, miserable people, depressing situations and our own negative thoughts. If we want to cultivate happiness, we should seek to avoid depressing situations and depressing people.

Source: Sri Chinmoy

When I'm in a relationship..

2010-06-02T22:45:00.006+08:00

First thing that I always do, is having the trust of my boyfriends family. It is also important for me to have a good feedback from my boyfriends parents. A good ifirst mpression ofcourse. That's why I'm close to my ex boyfriend's family. They would treat me like their own daughter-in-law even though break na kami ng son nila.
It's a good feeling coz I have alot of so called mom & dad.

Same thing with my friend's parents. Sometimes they would ask me " Mica, will you be my daughter-in-law? ", then I would just answer them with "so silly of you tita/tito, were just friends lang po. And were both happy with this stage." (with a smile ofcourse). Sometimes naman, whenever I'm in my friend's house, their mom would ask my friend, " Son, you better start courting Mica, or else you wont find someone as kind as her." hay.. But I still don't get it. If I'm that ~~kind,~~ why does they cheat diba?

Guys these days.. No contentment at all.
That's why I told myself a million times, before I commit myself again, I would know that person first. I would use my mind instead of my heart, because I'm always getting into trouble. I always ended up crying, or sniffing late at night. I don't wanna experience that anymore. Those past relationships seems to be a little traumatic. hahahaha :D

That's why I'm not wondering pa, If I'm this strict na with my feelings. Doesn't mean that I'm numb na. Being single doesn't mean I'm alone, it means I know I can be more independent. These past few weeks, I've realized that I don't need to be in a relationship rather to have a boyfriend to be happy.

I'm not ready to have a boyfriend. I want to spoiled myself for a bit. Wanna have extra time for myself, my mom, my baby sister and companions ofcourse. Love can wait, and I know God has better plans for me. I just have to wait for that deserving one.

Do you believe in Destiny?

2010-06-01T02:16:00.005+08:00

Hello there..
Here's my first post this June 2010..
And the hell I can't sleep. Probably my insomnia reigns once again, that's why I decided to turn my desktop on & blog about this destiny thingys..

Destiny?

Many people believe that destiny is a predetermined course of events as if it is already fixed in the natural order of the cosmos.
Some say you create your destiny, others say it is pre-encoded. Some say events are random, others say you make it all happen. Whether you believe in destiny as a predetermined course of events or as a guiding affect in your life, what matters is being clear how it works in your life.

So, destiny is about the choices we make. We cannot always control the events in our lives, but we can choose where to place our focus. We can choose to follow the inner path that compels us to grow and expand our awareness, and our happiness.

Ambitious..

2010-05-31T18:48:00.002+08:00

Well.. It just happened..
Someone told me that.. My ex told her that I'm a liar coz I told his ex girlfriend that he is a timer. GOSH..!! & here's the funny thing. He also told the girl that I was pretty obsess in him, coz I love him so much.. Well.. Let's say that yes,I do admire him but hell noh I'm not that desperate.. Geeeeezz... Poor guy, he thinks that he is the most handsome creature in the world.

He's insane.. really insane!

Kill yourself dude!! March your way to hell together with your effin lies!!..

*evil laugh* >:)

A tale of Mari and three puppies

2010-05-31T17:09:00.007+08:00

Three puppies born on the day of an earthquake
On the fateful morning of October 23, 2004, a dog named Mari gave birth to three puppies in Yamakoshi Village, Niigata Prefecture, Japan. That evening, a severe earthquake struck Niigata and devastated the Village, causing almost all of its homes to collapse, including the one where Mari lived. During the quake the newborn puppies were jolted away from their mother, and since their eyes were still closed, they could not find their way back to her side. Also, because she was bound by a leash, Mari could not reach her babies. She tried repeatedly to pull free from the leash, but to no avail. Then, several tremors occurred and Mari tried even harder to break free until her neck began to bleed. Suddenly, another strong aftershock struck, Mari struggled with all her might, and the collar suddenly came loose. Next she quickly picked up her puppies, moved them to a safe place, and without taking a rest ran toward the ruins that were once her house.

Courageous rescue of grandfather
The grandfather of Mari’s family was home alone that day. He lived on the second floor, but suffered from a neurological disorder that made it impossible for him to stand on his feet or climb the stairs unassisted. After the earthquake, the old man was immobilized as he had been trapped beneath a wardrobe. Aftershocks and the total darkness resulting from a power outage pushed him into desperately thinking that death might be around the corner. Just then, Mari appeared in his room on the second floor and looked at him with encouraging eyes. The grandfather had been slipping into unconsciousness, but when he saw Mari he regained awareness although he was still immobilized. Mari then licked him to give him encouragement and went downstairs several times to check on her pups before quickly returning to the man’s room. She ran back and forth many times even though her paws had been injured by the sharp-edged glass and pieces of porcelain that lay all over the floor. Each trip gave her new wounds, but Mari managed to kindle new hope in the grandfather’s heart, and looking at Mari he thought, “I must live on. I cannot give up,” Finally, he pushed at the wardrobe with all his strength, it gave way and he managed to free himself. Then with Mari's encouragement, the grandfather spent two hours climbing down the stairs—a feat he had previously been unable to accomplish without help. Upon reaching the ground floor, he was happy to find that the three puppies were safe and sound.

A sad parting and further ordeals
After the October 23, 2004 earthquake Yamakoshi Village was in a state of total destruction and isolation as all local roads had been cut off. And with a continuous series of aftershocks increasing the danger of landslides, on October 25 all the villagers were evacuated by helicopter to a nearby accommodation center. Under these circumstances, the grandfather was forced to leave Mari behind for in times of disaster saving human lives is the main concern. He left all of his pet food for his beloved dog, prayed that she and her pups would be safe and took off her collar. Then, with no other options, as he boarded the helicopter to leave behind the one who had saved his life, he said with guilt and sadness, "I’m very sorry, Mari," and felt heart-broken as Mari howled in deep sorrow.

As time passed and her supply of rations ran out, Mari had to search for food in her abandoned village, suffering many ordeals as she tried to protect her little puppies. All the while the grandfather thought of her constantly, and with anxiety over the continuing tremors fell ill and had to be hospitalized. Then two weeks after the evacuation, the villagers were allowed to return to Yamakoshi to see their homes. Among the returnees was the man’s son, who immediately began to search for Mari. Upon finding her, he noticed that she was much thinner, and she hesitated for an instant after hearing her name but then dashed toward him. He held her close in his arms for a long time. Mari had not had enough food for herself, but she fed her babies milk and took care of them as well as she could. In contrast to their skinny mother, the three puppies looked chubby and healthy as they slept sweetly on the porch. The son was delighted to see the little pups growing up in good health.

Before Yamakoshi Village was reconstructed, the villagers remained in temporary housing in a neighboring city. Being in charge of advertising affairs for the village committee, the son was a busy man so he placed Mari and her puppies in the care of another family. When the grandfather was still in the hospital, Mari's caretaker took her to visit him. Thus, after undergoing countless trials, Mari and the old man were finally reunited. Mari was very happy to see the man, who was recuperating and said with quivering lips and tears filling his eyes, "Thank you for saving my life."

Then in April 2005 the grandfather was discharged from the hospital and began living with his son and Mari in an apartment. By that time Mari's three puppies had been adopted by other families and were growing up healthily in their new homes. Today, the grandfather and his family are still living in the apartment but look forward to returning soon to Yamakoshi Village.

I wanna thank my cyber friend and co-blogger Marinella, for posting the trailer of this movie to her blog. I was really touched when I watched that video, first coz I'ma dog lover. Actually I also have a female Japanese Akita named Nikki. She's 1 yr old and I do love her too just like my other dogs. For me, there are not just pets, but good companions too. We just have to give them back the love & care that they deserve :)

I miss Rainier..

2010-05-30T19:16:00.002+08:00

Minsan porket `MAHAL` natin ngayon, kala natin forever natin silang makakasama. Nasasabi natin lahat ng matatamis na salita na puno ng ibat ibang klaseng pangarap. Msarap mangarap lalo na pag kasama natin yung mahal natin. Pero naisip nyo bang ganun din kasakit pag, nawala sya kasabay ng paglaho ng mga pangarap na sabay nyong binuo?

I was only 13 years old nung una akong nag ka boyfriend. Too young isn't?
While I'm on my way home. Nasa jeep ako together with my classmate. Then may nakita akong guy na naka motor may 2 back ride. Gwapo sya, cute.. Pansinin talaga ng tao, lalo na't naka motor. so malakas ang dating lalo na sa girl.

Pag baba ko ng jeep, hinabol nya ko't nag pakilala sya. We exchanged numbers, then ayun we started as friends. Ok syang kausap, hindi boring. He taught me alot of things in life. And since bata pa ko nun at 18 sya, medyo isip bata pa ko kaya minsan naguguluhan sya sakin. I didn't expected na mafafall ako sa kanya.

Until naging kami. Lagi kami nag sstroll nun pag weekends, kaya lang patakas dahil magagalit ang lolo ko. Si mommy lang nakakaalam ng about samin. Mabaet na tao si Rainier, wala kang magiging reklamo sa kanya. Mahal na mahal nya ang pamilya nya, lalo na yung mga kapatid nya. Ang daming pangarap nun, halos di mabilang, lahat para sa pamilya nya. Napaka bait ding kaibigan.

Nung naging boyfriend ko sya, meron pa kong 7 syota. Nalaman nya yun, at nag sisi talaga ako. Bakit ko pa hinayaang makawala sya? Mali ako, narealize ko yun after ng pangyayaring yun. mga 1 month nawalan kami ng communication, masakit kasi di mo alam kung habang iniisip mo ba sya habang nag iisa ka ee ganun din sya?

Christmas ng 2006, tinawagan nya ko. Nagkita kami may gift sya sakin ganun din ako. I'm so happy that time, as in parang above ozone layer yung kaligayahan ko. Ok na ulit kami. Pinakilala nya ko sa family nya, so do I. Last week ng January 2007, inaway ko sya. Nagkaron kami ng argument kasi naniwala ako sa sabi sabi na may iba syang girlfriend.

Feb. 4-09, I dreamed about us, naka motor kami then, may isang super laki at liwanag na gate. He asked me to go with him, but I refused. Sabi ko, malulungkot sila mommy kapag sumama ako sa kanya. Tapos sabi nya sakin, ` Kahit anu pang mangyari, tandaan mo masaya ako at naging parte ka ng buhay ko. Wala akong pakielam sa sinasabi nila, ang mahalaga mahal kita, at yun ang totoo.`. (Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ang sinabi nyang yun sakin.) After nun, pumasok na sya sa gate , hanggang sa di ko na sya masilayan.

Feb.6-09, nakita ko sya habang pauwi ako ng bahay from school. But I just ignored him.
Feb.7-09, around 7pm, pinuntahan ako ng mga barkada nya sa bahay at sinabing nasa ospital daw sya, dahil naaksidente sya. We hurriedly went to the hospital together with my grandpa and mom.

Nauna akong bumaba ng sasakyan, sinalubong ako ng mga kaibigan nya. Nagtataka ako kung bakit ang halos lahat ng barkada nya nandun. Kinabahan na ko. Ayoko mang isipin pero, totoo. Nag aagaw buhay si Rainier, halos di na sya makilala. That afternoon, nakipag karerahan sya sa isang unknown man. Kasama nya yung mga barkada nya that time, pero nag iba sila ng route nung lalaki. Butinalang at sinundan sila ng kaibigan nya. Hanggang sa, nawalan ng control si rainier sa motor, at naging cause yun ng death nya. Sabi sakin ni JR nung friend nya, nung sinugod nila sa ospital si rainier, tinatawag pa daw nya pangalan ko. It means kahit alam nyang galit ako sa kanya, kahit nung malapit na sya sa bingit ng kamatayan, ako padin nasa isip nya.

Pag arrive ko sa room nya. Nandun family nya, niyakap ako ng mahigpit ng mom nya. Nakita ko si Rainier, full of blood. Nilapitan ko sya, hinawakan ko kamay nya. sabi ko, `Nyeng, nandito na ko..` After that tuluyan ng umalis si Rainier sa mundo.

pag gising ko kinabukasan, habang umiinom ako ng gatas.. Tumutulo luha ko, di ko lubos maisip na wala na talaga sya. nag sisisi ako, kung bat di ko sya pinansin nung araw na nakita ko sya bago sya mamatay. Nag sisi ako kung bakit ako naniwala sa ibang tao, without letting him explain kung ano yung totoo.

Sabi ko nun, di na ko mag mamahal. Ayoko na, nagalit ako sa mundo! galit ako sa lahat ng bagay. Ayoko ng kausap. Gusto ko laging mapag isa. 1 year akong ganun. Pag naaalala ko sya, naiiyak ako. Madalas ako mag stay sa may terrace namin. Tumitingin sa malayo. Naging mailap ako sa tao. Naging bato ang puso ko.

I admit. It's really hard to forget or to moved on when you are totally hurt, and broken. I keep my myself busy with school activities, and online gaming. Everytime that I remembered the times that we were happy together, laughing at each other, and strolling with him, napapangiti nalang ako, but with sadness.

Why is it hard to forget someone you truly loved?

2010-05-30T16:52:00.002+08:00

Honestly, you're not going to forget. An experience like that will stay with you forever. The key is chalking it up to bad luck and moving on, instead of dwelling on it and letting it ruin your life. Yes, it sucks. And no, I'm not trying to say it's not a big deal. Obviously getting betrayed by two of the people you care about the most is going to hurt. And it will take time to get past it. It's how you deal with it that matters. You have to accept it to get past it. Focusing on the pain for too long will steer you towards depression. Don't let it take you there.

Tumblr.com :)

2010-05-10T21:11:00.001+08:00

Heya guys!!

Pls follow me on tumblr & I'll follow u back:)

Here's my link click

till here!!

di ko na carry..

2010-05-08T00:19:00.003+08:00

”Cool off muna tayo...,” sabi nya.
Medyo natagalan akong sumagot. Napabuntung-hininga muna ako ng malalim bago sumagot na, “O, sige! Walang problema sa akin...cool ‘yan!”
Hindi ko na naintindihan masyado ang mga sumunod na sinabi nya hindi dahil sa lakas ng background noise sa linya ng telepono; sobra lang napuno agad ang utak ko ng mga bagay-bagay na patungkol sa aming dalawa.
Ang naaalala ko na lang ngayon ay yung sinabi nya na medyo kailangan daw nya ng space. Putek naman!
“Long distance na nga, pa-space-space ka pa dyan.”
Sana sinabi ko iyon sa kanya. Para naman naramdaman nya na naghihimutok talaga ako...na pa cool effect lang yung “O, sige! Walang problema sa akin...cool ‘yan!” na linya ko.
Space daw, o! Space my ass! I- space nya kaya lelang nya.
Gusto na lang niya talagang bumitaw sa relasyon namin. Well, kung iyon ang gusto niya eh wala na akong magagawa doon. Ano man sigurong pilit kong ipaglaban sa kanya, at ano mang pilit kong ipadama sa kanya kung gaano ko siya pinahahalagahan, eh wala ring kwenta dahil hindi na nya iyon mararamdaman. Deadma na siya, ‘kumbaga.
Natural lang naman kasi sa isang tao na hindi madama ang ipinadadama ng isa pang tao kung ayaw na lang nga nya talaga doon sa isa. At kapag dumating na sa punto na iyon, panahon na siguro na tigilan na ang lahat ng kabaliwan. Simpleng lohika lang naman: “Eh, ‘di kung ayaw na nya sa akin, ayaw ko na rin sa kanya.”

Dapat nga pala magdiwang ako dahil ngayon pwede na akong mag-flirt galore! Yey! Libreng-libre na ako at ang aking konsyensya. Liberating, ‘kumbaga. Mapaplano ko na ngayon yung mga gusto kong gawin ng hindi na kailangang isipin pa kung saan siya ilalagay. Gimik galore kahit saan ng hindi na siya inaalala pa.
Isa pa, pagod na rin ako eh. Lagi ko na lang siyang sinusuyo. Lalo na kapag dumarating ang period nya. ‘Langya parang tigreng wala sa sarili! Hindi ko talaga alam ang evolutionary significance ng PMS sa human species. Bakit kaya hindi na nasanay ang mga babae sa period nila, gayong buwan-buwan naman eh dinadalaw sila noon simula noong dose anyos sila? Aahh, heto na naman ako...Kung kailan nag-e-emote eh, saka nag-iisip ng mga walang kapararakang bagay.

Hindi naman kasi ako naniniwala dyan sa cool off, cool off na iyan, eh. Ano ‘yan radiator ng dyipni na kailangang palamigin kada byahe? Hindi naman yata tama ‘yun. Tsaka yung karburador namin, eh hindi pa nga talaga nag-iinit, so ano ang kailangang palamigin doon?
Isa pa, yung cool off na iyan eh katumbas lang naman ng “pumanaw na siya” na ipinapalit sa “patay na siya”. Euphemism lang ‘kumbaga. Kung tutuusin ay ayaw na nga nya sa relasyon namin. Eh, ‘di kung ayaw na nya, eh ‘di ayaw ko na rin.
Pero sana nga ganoon lang kasimple ‘yon. Pero hindi, eh.
Naiiyak na naman tuloy ako. *hikbi*

M.Y.M.P.-Love Stood Still with lyrics

2010-05-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

i so really love this song :)

Quotes #1 :

2010-05-07T19:02:00.000+08:00

sometimes we couldn't just understand why good things begin then just end... we can really never have it all but can't you see that no matter what happens, life goes on and on?

Always the same broken promises..

2010-05-07T17:18:00.003+08:00

I don’t really believe in promises. For I think it is made to be broken. I had a lot of experience about broken promises. And It really hurts, lalo na if the person who made it is the person you love, or the important ones. All you have to do is to, accept the fact that he’s always making promises then doesn’t put any efforts on it. You don’t need to spoil your time to those kind of people. Mayron dyan, mas deserving sa love mo. You just have to be strong enough to let go of that person, in able for you to find the right one for you.

It’s really hard to let go, when you now that he is the one who’s making you happy. But evaluate all the things that is happening to you. Are you still happy? Is this the relationship your wishing for? Is it working the way it used to be? If no.. then, you have to let go.

But even though I’ve experienced it many times. Still, it is hard to decide lalo na when you are in a middle of decision making. First you have to scale everything. It can’t be done that easy or should I say that fast. It requires time, advices and some support from the closest people in your life. Those who have broken the trust will need to actively communicate trust with both words and actions. Say what you’ll do, and do what you say. Not just the big promises, but the little ones as well. Continually ask your partner: What can I do to make it right? After all, every situation is different and requires different demonstrations of remorse and trustworthiness.

It is not necessary to stay in a relationship even though you know that wala naming pinapakitang effort sa pagbabago yung partner mo. What is the use of your sacrifices for him or her If he or she doesn’t give you importance diba? Hindi parating “ Ok lang ” ang sagot, you sometimes have to tell what you really feel. Kaya nga dapat may open communication tayong tinatawag.
Mahirap nang ibalik ang tiwala ng isang tao once na masira natin to. Pero sa larangan ng pag ibig, kung mai sasave pa natin, why not diba? Kung baga sa basketball kung may 3 seconds remaining pa para maishoot yung bola, what will you choose? Yung 50% possibility na hindi mo ma shoot oh yung 50% na pwedeng maging 100% sure win? Kung may remaining time pa why not try saving it? Lalo na kung that person really worth sayo. It’s not wrong to commit mistakes, but mahirap lang magbitaw ng promises. Because, hindi natin alam ang pwedeng mangyari mamaya, the next day, next week and so on.

We must be aware that pwedeng magbago ang lahat with a blink of an eye. At kung talagang mahal natin ang isang tao, wag natin hahayaang masira ang kanilang tiwala satin. Dahil ang true love, minsan lang dumating, gugulatin ka nalang, bibiglain ka nalang. Hindi mo inaasahan. Ang pag ibig lang ang may kakayanang baguhin ang isang bagay o ang isang tao. At kung makagawa man tayo ng kasalanan, siguraduhin natin hindi na ito mauulit muli. Tandaang walang mahirap, kung gugustuhin natin ang isang bagay. Wag tayong mangako. Gawin na lamang natin ito.

Mahirap umasa dito, lalo na kung paulit paulit nating naririnig to, at ang masakit pa kung paulit ulit din itong ginagawa sa pusong walang ibang hinangad kundi ang magmahal at mahalin ng tapat.

Natatawa nalang ako pag naaalala kong minahal kita..

2010-05-07T16:52:00.004+08:00

Grabe.. eto, nag halungkat ako ng mga previous posts ko about sa mga naging bf ko last 2008-2010.. haha.. IMBA talaga, di ko lubos na maimagine na ganun yung naramdaman ko for them. Well siguro, dala rin yun ng immaturity ko. I mean bata pa kasi kaya, di pa alam ang love. Kala mo, sya na yung huling guy sa buhay mo kaya lagi mong sinasabi, mahal na mahal mo yun.

Well, nung naging boyfriend ko si Rynell Troy, sinabihan nya ko na after 2 years magpapakasal na kami. Ako naman tong si gaga, naniwala. HAHAHA!! tandang tanda ko pa, nasa terrace ako nun at kausap ko sya sa phone. hehehehe.. pakasal daw kami .. peste :D

Wala ka naman kay Angelo Gabriel.. eto imba, may anak kami pero in our dreams lang. Remember baby emo? Well, Emo ang napili nyang name para daw sa 1st baby namin. Buti nalang di naging makitid ang utak ko, kung hindi baka nanay na ko ng 2 year old baby.. Naku, ewan ko ba.. Bat lagi akong napupunta sa mga me pick up lines na "WAG mo kong iiwan , mahal na mahal kita" taz sila naman tong nang iiwan.

Kaya di mo ko masisisi kung bat mejo bitter ako sa kanila. Pero wala na kong care sa mga yun. Mabilis ako mag tiwala, yun ang mali sakin. Pero hindi na ngayon.

Kay Jerome naman, naku.. kung baga level gap na. Ang laki ng gap kaya hirap ako na intindihin sya. IMBA nga. Di ko sinasabi toh dahil me galit ako sa kanila or whatsoever.. Pinapalawak ko lang yung isip ko, na kung tutuusin, isang malaking stupidity talaga yung ginawa ko.

Kay Alfred naman.. umh.. wala naman syang pinangako, kumbaga maingat kaya wala akong maireklamo. Baka naman sabihin nyo mahal ko pa yun. Naka move on na ko! Saka, as if naman na iniisip pa ko nun. Parehas na kaming busy sa buhay buhay namin. Ang ayoko lang sa kanya eh me attitude. Moody ayun :)

naranasan mo na bang umasa at maghintay ? nakakpagod diba ? pero kahit lam mong pagod ka na, hindi mo kayang bumitaw basta basta! kasi alam mo na kahit anung gawin mo siya pa din ang taong "MAHAL MO"

---> Yan.. ang tinatawag na martir! Ganyan ako dati, atleast aminado ako diba? Pero teh, sinasabi ko sayo.. nag evolve na ko!! hahahaha!!

Happy naman..

2010-05-07T13:02:00.003+08:00

DUH! masaya naman ako kahit wala akong lovelife noh! I don't need a boyfriend in able for me to be happy. Besides I'm enjoying my life as a working girl.. hehehe.. "I am a working girl, I have no time for love.... I'm always working all the time ♫ ♫ ". Busy ako sa family business namin. Well, not really exaggerated naman masyado. Busy ako sa household chores, ayan kinakarir ko na pati trabaho ni manang :D Uber enjoy ko ang bonding namin ng mga pets ko, kung dati every other day ang ligo nila, ngayon almost evryday na! Oh diba bongga? atleast di ko na naiisip yung mga taong never naman inisip yung nararamdaman ko. "Iniwan mo ko nuon, maglaway ka ngayon". Mas may time na ko sa mga kaibigan ko, at syempre wala ng nag babawal sakin mag blog! Teka!! bat kasi pinag babawalan nila ko mag blog? Buhay ba nila yung kinukwento ko? besides, di ko kailangan isacrifice yung mga na nakakapag pasaya sakin para lang magustuhan ako ng iba. Salamat pala dun sa mga taong nag chcheer up sakin :) at sa mga patuloy na nag aadmire sakin, woooohh.. issue :) hehehe.. ang kulit ko, damn ang init talaga ng panahon. Kelan ka ba matatapos? ang init mo el ninio!!

Sorry kasi di pa ko handang makipag commit ulit. Sa kadahilanang gusto ko munang mahalin yung sarili ko. Like what I'm always telling you, mas magtatagal tayo sa pagiging friends. We must be contented for what we have right now. Enjoy lang muna, di kailangang mag madali.

What is the difference between infatuation & love?

2010-05-06T22:26:00.003+08:00

Infatuation describes the intense range of feelings present at the beginning of most relationships; sweaty palms, rapidly beating heart, butterflies in the stomach. The world is a better, more beautiful place because object of your affection is with you. Every time you touch is thrilling, you remember every conversation, and your thoughts revolve around them. In more common terms, this is a crush. Crushes are a very real, normal part of human life. Everyone experiences at least one crush at some point or another in their lives.

Love, on the other hand, is a calmer, more mature feeling. It is a sense of stability. Love is still exciting, at times. It can change day-to-day. Love takes work. The feelings are not supported by the highs of hormones, but by a shared love and respect for each other. Love is what exists after infatuation fades, if you are lucky.

Infatuation and love are different in many ways. While both result in pleasant feelings, the feeling of infatuation is more intense than the feeling of love. Love may not be as intense, but it is usually a much deeper emotion. Relationships that start as infatuation can mature into love.

One of the biggest differences between infatuation and love is how long each can last for. Infatuation can last, at most, several months before it starts to fade. Love, on the other hand, is capable of lasting fifty years or more, if both people in the relationship work for it. Infatuation is almost effortless. Anything put into the relationship is because you want to. Everything you do for the other person brings great pleasure for you, too. This isn’t always the case in love. You do things that you don’t want to do, things that you will get no pleasure from, because it is the fair thing to do. Love is about compromise.

Infatuation and love are both different in the amount of unpleasant tension that is part of the relationship some days. Infatuation discourages any real disagreements from taking place. You both are on your best behavior during all the time you spend together. Anything that could cause a discrepancy to the idea of a perfect relationship is avoided. Everything is perfect, and no one wants to mess that up.

Love allows people to be who they really are. While arguments aren’t encouraged, they happen. Sometimes they happen a lot, especially in times of stress. Love is admitting that your partner has faults, and so do you, but that is okay. You have realistic expectations of each other. Love is accepting.

Infatuation and love are two separate emotions, and there are many differences between them. They are, however, similar in some ways. Infatuation is like a shiny new pair of dress shoes, where as love is the comfy old sneakers you’ve had for years. Infatuation is fun, while it lasts. Eventually, though, the night out ends, and you slip into the sneakers that fit perfectly, even if they are starting to give at the seams and the tread is worn out. This is what happens in relationships. As the brilliance of infatuation fades, couples move into a contented place where, even if there are problems, they know they can depend on one another to provide the love and support they need. That is the difference between infatuation and love.

Survey :)

2010-05-06T21:11:00.007+08:00

Nagbigay ako ng isang situation sa mga close friends ko sa facebook..
Well, naranasan ko na din tong situation na to. Siguro dun sa mga naging classmates ko nung 3rd-4th yr alam toh. Di naman lahat sila, yung mga close ko lang talaga.

Question:

Halimbawa, me friend ka. taz pinaparamdam nya sayo na mahal ka nya, mahalaga ka sakanya, etc. Pero never mong narinig yung words na mahal ka nya,, anung gagawin mo or magiging reaction mo?

Owl City - Vanilla Twilight

2010-05-06T18:38:00.000+08:00

He's by my side..

2010-05-06T11:09:00.004+08:00

Good morning guys.. I'm currently eating my lunch, well actually It's my breakfast and lunch :)

Back to the real topic:
These past few days, I'm always dreaming of my ex boyfriend who died 4 years ago. I still miss Rainier. He looks alive in my dream. I'm overjoyed when I'm with him. Feels like, I don't wanna wake up coz I know it would end. I already accepted the fact that he is gone, and I know that he is happy na.

He became history in my life. Yung tipong, until the day comes na I would have my own family yun bang mai kkwento ko pa sya sa mga magiging grandchildren ko. Well, that's how I value him. He deserves to be remembered.

Imagine.. I was deeply inlove when I was in first year highschool. So young to fall with an 18 year old guy. Some called it craziness, my mom called it puppy love. But for me, He was my first love. Dun ko na experience yung tumitibok yung heart ko whenever he's around. Kaya, It took years for me to move on.

Sometimes I'm wondering. Is he watching over me? is he hugging me whenever I'm crying? I really miss him. Although we separated in reality, there's a little place for us to be together. And that's my dream.

The dream guy ..

2010-05-05T11:13:00.003+08:00

Oiie.. mejo cheesy ang next topic ko.
Well my dream guy and relationship is simple as 1 2 3. I don't need fame, richness, money or what so ever. I need a guy who is willing to share all his thoughts with me, all his dreams, and his life^_^ I know It's too early to think something like this but, there's nothing wrong If I share. Sometimes when I'm alone, I keep on daydreaming. I'm imagining that, I'm a princess waiting for her prince charming to come and save her at the highest tower of the castle. Hahaha... silly me! But, I guess that someday It'll happen. I don't wanna be alone, to be a loser, or to be leaved by someone I really love. I know that sometimes, things are actually happen even if we don't like the way it use to be. We sometimes forcing ourselves to be somebody else just to be love. But It's perfectly wrong, definitely wrong.

I want a guy who is always there whenever I feel pity. A guy who makes me laugh when he notice that I'll cry. A guy who fights for what is right, even If everything seems wrong. A guy with a long patience, because I'm kinda naughty. An intelligent guy, who will share some things that I don't know. A guy who is down to earth and never boast about anything that he have. I want a guy who can feel If there is something wrong with me. The one who cares when I am sick.

And lastly: A guy that never leaves with no particular & acceptable reason

Break na ..

2010-04-25T23:44:00.001+08:00

Break na kami ng boyfriend ko..

Di daw nag work..

Ok.. so be it..

The Moody ones..

2010-04-24T21:48:00.003+08:00

It's been a long vacation for me.. I really miss blogging and ofcourse this cyber sanctuary of mine. I wanna thank all those people who visited my blog while I'm gone.. And especially to those who leaved their tags in my inactive days.

So many things happened to me these past few weeks. But sad to say coz I'm a bit lazy typing my stories. I really want to share them all but, maybe next time nalang.

My topic for tonight is all about Moody persons.

Umh... It's really hard to understand moody persons.
They may clam up and not speak or suddenly start speaking very negatively about something dear to you. One day, good cop; the next, bad - shifting sands and you wondering where you stand.
I'm a moody person, a lil bit sensitive too. But, even though I have this attitude, I definitely choose to be alone than to linger with other people. I easily get annoyed when someone, or even when my surroundings is noisy. That's why I choose to be alone.

These past few days, I've realized that, even though you love someone so much, but he doesn't appreciate the things that you've made or done just to prove him that you love him.. It's useless.. Then,he always do the same things over and over again, your heart will voluntarily quits.

"I wished I'd never asked for MORE THAN THAT"

But, It doesn't mean that I'm regretting. I experienced happiness during those painful days of mine. And It's all because of him. No regrets, just lessons. But, If it's not meant for us to stay in this relationship, maybe we should let go.

BTW.. I'll reply to your tags tomorrow affies :)

Bring the love back :)

2010-04-24T21:23:00.002+08:00

Over a period of time relationships go through changes and fall into a set pattern. Love somehow manages to take a back seat as you set into the grind of your daily life. But if you want to bring the romance back into your life you will have to make your man fall in love with you all over again. Here's how you can do that.

Get a makeover
Change is always good. And there is no better way of inviting change than getting a makeover. Go all out, get a couple of beauty treatments done to take the years off your face, add few highlights and shop for a new sexy wardrobe and you are set! Go on...get his attention.

Work on your personality
Since you have been stuck in a relationship rut for a long time your personality too gets affected. Being too matter of fact and talking when necessary only or entering into arguments all the time make you jaded and tired. Take some action to work on your personality so that you become a whole lot more pleasing.

Start with making small changes
Make subtle adjustments in your own life first when you want him to fall in love with you. Get more creative with your alone time. Join a gym or a yoga class to tone up. Dancing is another way to beat stress. Look good and get into high spirits. Once you begin to enjoy doing your own thing he too will begin to look at you differently.

Give him some space
Make sure that you leave him alone for awhile and give him his alone time. Don't be judgmental of what he is doing with that time. Just let him be and you will find him warming up to you.

Take off for a little while
Sometimes distance is required to make a person understand your real worth. It also works wonders for a relationship compelling people to take a long and hard look at the way they have been misusing the love in a relationship. Take off for a couple for days and completely disconnect. By the time you get back your man will be mad about you.

Plan sweet surprises
Being sweet sometimes is all that is needed to make a man fall in love with you again. Show him that you care by doing small things like making his favorite flavor of ice cream or planning an elaborate surprise vacation.

Take a walk down memory lane
Go off on a holiday to the destination you had first gone as a couple. It will rekindle the sense of romance and make him fall in love with you again.

Twitter..

2010-04-09T22:15:00.001+08:00

Please do follow me on twitter..
I'm not gonna be active in blogging anymore.
So to stay updated, add me up :)

Click Here

Thanks a bunch.. gonna miss yu affies :)

The last post..

2010-04-08T21:54:00.004+08:00

Such a long story.. well, on my last post.. I've already mentioned that, there are some important persons in my life that is affected by my cyber girl thingys.. Alot of things are affected these past few days. And I am frightened that It may cause leaving me again dramas. I want to make things right. First of all, my mood. It's very ineffable. I have mood swings. And sometimes, those people around me gets confused. I want to changed this negative attitude of mine. I will do my best!

Blogging, It gives me happiness whenever I'm sharing my thoughts and stories. I found certain happiness on my mind and heart whenever I post my experiences every day. Happy or not. I really love exchanging comments with my friends and affies. I learned something new whenever I read some of their post. Blogging is part of my life. My day would be incomplete if I didn't share what happened to me that day.

But, some things need to be sacrifice. It's like letting go of one of the most important person in your life. My blog has been my diary for almost a year. There are alot of people who shared their opinions and I really appreciated those :) But, maybe I really need to quit, well not really. Maybe I'll just be gone for about months. Or I'm not gonna be that active, unlike before. Gonna miss my affies!!
Especially my online sanctuary.

I love blogging, but I need to do this.. For good :'(

I'm always gonna update my twitter account, so every one will know what's new & what's not to me.. kindly follow me :) click here

My blog.. my sanctuary,

2010-04-06T02:00:00.007+08:00

I had so much to ask..
But I was kinda coward when your around. I'm afraid to hear your answers..
Naguguluhan ako most of the time.. sometimes, there are things that,
I really really want to know.But still, I don't have the courage to ask you about it.
I thought, things wouldn't be this awkward. But, I'm starting to feel it.
Since my first love died, I had 4 failed relationships.. Three, with the same reasons.
I was really thankful when you came into my life. I can't possibly believed that,guys like you still exist. I will eternally treasure our friendship.

Sometimes, I admit. There are things that I can't totally understand. Maybe because, there are still things that I don't know about you. Like what I said in my profile page, in order for you to know a person, you must mingle with them. Because, you might misunderstand her or him if you don't try to socialize with them.

You always make me feel special whenever were together. There's is happiness when your around. I feel sudden joy when your looking at me. Your music makes me feel comfortable. But I just can't figure out why things like this usually happens. I keep adjusting on things coz honestly, being a cyber girl is a part of my life and daily routine. But like what my mom told me, If i want things to be perfect i should sacrifice the things that may cause fights. I'm not sanay, really. And It's really hard for me to do such things.

Blogging is part of my happiness. It's not just about sharing your thoughts, stories, and feelings. There's happiness, whenever i share my experiences here in my cyber sanctuary. Especially when I saw my friends & affies commented on my posts.
I've also met alot of people with stories & experiences to tell during my 1 year here in the blogger world. It's not that easy. I may quit facebooking & plurking, but not blogging & twittering.

Please.. just do accept me :(
It's my passion, not a hobby..
Here.. I'm free to express every little thing about me.
No ones gonna criticize me.
It's my world.. my sanctuary ..

My high school days..

2010-04-04T02:49:00.004+08:00

I'm gonna make this post in tagalog. para madali mag kwento :p
Siguro, 15 years from now, ganyan na kaluma ang picture namin na yan. It was taken during our field trip in Ocean Adventure this february. I miss my classmates:(
Dati, lagi naming sinasabi na sana March na para maka graduate na kami at maka alis na sa school. Mabilis na dumaan ang panahon, di namin namalayan ang takbo ng araw. Ang dami kong nasayang na araw. Kung maibabalik ko lang yung mga araw na sana kasama ko sila, matagal ko ng ginawa. Dati atat na atat akong maka graduate, pero di ko expected na ganito pala kalungkot. Kasi, kahit bali baliktarin natin ang mundo. May mga sari sarili na kaming lakad at buhay. Maraming bago sa buhay namin this coming June. Madaming makikilalang bagong classmates, kaibigan at prof. New environment, mas challenging na trials and school works. Di na tulad dati na, pwedeng iurong yung submission ng mga projects, ngaun more on time management na.

Na mimiss ko yung mga times na sobrang saya namin. Madalas na asaran. Tapos pag tanghali tatambay sa may corridor tapos mang aasar ng mga dumadaan. Nakaka miss din yung pag gaya ni Mark ng mga tawa. Yung nakaka lokang killer smile ni Bryan, yung malalalim na tanong ni Karlo, yung mga kwentong chicks ni Matthew, yung mga nakaka baliw na words ni Michael, yung kakulitan at kalambingan ni Lesley.. Yung bonding namin nila Kriska, mga tawanan, iyakan at damayan namin nila Yra at Christelle.

First year:
Naging classmate namin dito sila mark iguico, joseph bernal, kimberly blancaflor, christelle padilla, at donna joy de vera.

Kahit nung first year pa lang kami, puro na kami kalokohan.
Naaalala ko nun, laging inaasar ni Michael si Donna. Ang daming kataga kay donna, tinalo pa si Bryan. Pag napipikon nun si Donna kay Michael, inaasar syang super saiyan, para kasing mag eevolve sya. Nakaka tuwa nga ung expression ng muka ni donna. Dio ko makakalimutan yun.
One time nung naasar si Telle kay Michael, sabi ni michael sa kanya, 'sige ihagis mo yang gunting sakin' , kaya yun hinagis ni tel sa kanya. Dumugo nga yun, pero di naman gaano :p
Pag kumakanta si Michael ng DVDX ng sandwich, lagi syang may nasisirang gamit. Tulad ng walis tambo, dustpan, upuan at kung anu ano pa. Maharot kasi si Michael nuon pa man :)
Nag silent rally din kami nun, dahil ayaw namin dun sa isang teacher namin. Pero, panay ang ingay namin nila Donna at Bryan .. hahaha!
Dun din namin nakita first time na nagalit si Sir. emil. Si Jampong kasi ang kulit, bale grade 6 pa lang sila nun. tapos ang kulit, kaya biglang nag dabog si sir nun napamura, pero mahina lang. Di ko alam magiging reaction ko, kasi si kimberly tumatawa pa.
Sa sobrang harot namin nila Kimberly, muntik ng mahubad yung blouse nya.
Lagi namang inaasar si Kim na perpekto dahil yan yung sinabi nya kay Michael nung inaasar sya.

Second Year:

Nag transfer sila Donna, Kim, at Joseph. Pumalit sila Ronnie Sarcia, Jomil Tan, and Kimberly Frasdilla.

Naging close namin nun si kim. YKMC stand for Yra, Kim, Mica, and Christelle. Bestfriends kami :) Dami dami din namiong mga kalokohan. Miss ko dito yung mga kwentuhan naming apat na nakaka loka talaga.

I also remember Christelle. Nung bag babasa sya ng haunted philippines. It was lunch break ata then, may dala akong haunted Philippines kaya binasahan nya kaming 3 ng story. Nagkamali sya sa pag pronounce nung haunted, naging hawnted pasaway nga eh.
tapos nung recitation naman namin kay sir. emil sa biology. Ang question ni Sir. Emil, `animals without backbone`.. then biglang nag raise ng hand si kim, kampanteng kampante sya sa sagot nya 'salmonella' ayy adeeek! hehehe;p
then.. sino ba namang makakalimot dun sa napkin? Eh kanya kanya namang **** yan? LOL!

Nung pumunta kami nila Telle at yra sa sementeryo, umaambon pa nun. Katakot kasi liblib, tapos sakto may 2 naka motor tapos me 3 back ride. Bale 6 sila, pupunta din ng sementeryo. Kaya we decided na di nalang tumuloy, baka ma rape kami.. hahaha:D then, tuwing may naririnig si tel na motor natataranta sya, tapos lagi pang natatanggal yung sintas ng shoes ko. Si Yra di malaman ang gagawin, di alam kung matatawa oh matatakot :)
Alala ko pa nun, lantaran kaming nangongopya sa libro ni Y.. hehe..
Dami ding naging boipren si Kim nun, sila Chubab, Jay2 di ko matandaan yung iba.

Nung nag camping kami, 3 kami magkakasama nila kim at tel. Di nakasama nun si Yra, kakatapos lang namin mag picture taking malapit sa bangin tapos nauna kaming umakyat ni tel. Bigalang nadulas si kim malapit sa may ulingan, sisihin daw ba si tel. ADEEEK nga.. Taz nag recognition din kami dun, nadulas pa nun si tel 'check it out!', yan ang sabi nya nung nadulas sya, with matching ngiti pa yan ahh :D

Dito kami natutong mag sabi ng bad words.. hehe :D
Dito kami natutong mag lakwatsa, at umuwi ng past 7pm
Madalas kaming mag lugaw sa may national..
Madalas kaming magpa picture sa studio..

sabi sabi:
Ahh shet ahh - Michael John.. (pictorial sa corridor w/ pong)
24 isang sinulid ng cross stitch - Kim
easy lang pareng kosa baka presyon tumaas - Yra & Mica to Tel (sementeryo)
at ilang kwentong barbero ang aking natanggap - Mica to Kim (twing nag kkwento)
yan yan... jan ka lang magaling - Mica (twing me nag yybang)
kasi naman kasi - Michael

Third Year:
Dito naging classmate namin sila John Lesley Martinez, Vicente Sebastian Palmon, Jonathan Bryan Catabas & Patricia Nicole Guasch..

Nagkaron ng kanya kanyang buhay ang YKMC. di natulad dati. Pero, nagkakasama pa din sila. Nahiwalay ako, dahil naging close naman ako kay Lesley at Tien2. Sisters pa nga tawagan namin nun. Mhilig mag bakla baklaan.

Nauso din nun yung Yaya and Angelina sa room." Your such a loser ", favorite phrase ni Tien2 pag niloloko namin sya. Madalas din syang asarin nuon ni Mac, kung anu anu pa nga tawag namin nun kay Tien.

Malupit nung kinalbo si Tien nung father nya ata. Inasar ni mac, binartolina daw :p

Humpy dumpy - kasi para syang itlog na nahulog nung tumaob sya sa upuan nya. Pano ba naman, hindi tinulungan ni mac tinitigan lang, nahulog tuloy:p
Jiggly Pop - kasi tuwing mag kkwento sya bout mga bagay bagay, inaantok si Mac.

Ang nakaka lokang tawa ni Sir. Emil :)

Di pa namin masyadong maramdaman ang presence ni Karlo dito :)

Ang cocoa ni T. Jenny :) sit down!

Nawalan din ako ng cp at naging malaking issue yun. alam na yun ng mga classmates ko..

Sila mark at Bryan, nagka saglitan. Panu kasi tong si Mark, ang lakas mang asar kaya ayun napikon na si bryan. Muntik na silang magka abutan sa classroom, pumagitna si sir. emil at inawat sila. Si Michael sabi pa nun kay mark, wag ka mag alala pre, di kita iiwan tapos nung nagka abutan na biglang lumabas si Michael.. hehehe adeek:p

Sa kalagitnaan ng ton namin nung 3rd year kami, nahati kami sa 2 grupo kaya kaunti lang ang mga ala ala namin. Pero nag kaauz din after ng camping & retreat :)

Sir. Mike moments:
Yung bomba - nasa classroom kami nun, tapos pinapa pulot samin yung mga kalat, then ayun si Lesley nag pasaway. Sumigaw bigla, sinabayan pa nila Mac at tien biglang sabi "ay bomba booooossshhhh", sabay takip sa tenga, nagtawanan ang buong klase, kaya nag walk out si Sir. Mike
A man with a hoe - poem yan sa english book namin. Almost one month naming topic yan, paulit ulit..
Feel like dance - tatawa kami, kasi sinayaw yan ni sir. mike nung nutrition month namin.

Nung camping & retreat namin, di kami natulog. Bale magkakasama kami sa room nila telle, kriska, sheryl, saka t. tineth. Walang tulog tulog, puro kami kwentuhan taz kulitan..

Unforgettable phrases:
hoy miss! pakyu!!
ganda lang.. pag ganda ganda tayo na yun,
ur such a loser,
nems.. picollo, killer smile rainier castillo
sir. saglit lang toh!
sisterss :D
whatever
you know what to do diba?
It's overrr

Fourth year:
Dito marami rami ng kalokohan :D

Birthday ni Mark:
- wooooh.. food trip kami dito oh, taz picture picture. Kulitan moments.. hay kaka miss:D

Birthday ni Yra:
- Food trip din:)sayang nga kasi di kami kompleto nung birthday ni yra. Di naka punta yung mga boys..

Nutrition month
- Jan kami unang nakapag perform ng exhibition sa c.a.t .. tapos, may cooking fest.. nanalo din kami jan, syempre ang mga dakilang chef ng jerusalem :) sila telle, lesley, michael at kriska..
We then performed the breath taking Totoy Bibo of the 4th year boys, and the Hoedown throw down of the sassy girls! The most explosive of them all is our jingle.. |In the tone of Harana by: parokya ni edgar|
" Puno ng gulay ang bibig, oh kay lamig pa ng tubig.
Sa yong tingin ako'y nababaliw,
giliw at sa luto kong ito, sana'y maibigan mo,
ibubuhos ko ang mga gulay ko..
Sa isang munting luto.....
CHOPSUEY "
Ang food trip.. Budol type, kala mu mga army eei! Tamang bonding lang..hihihih! Gonna miss this times. Si Michael kinagatan pa yung kalabasa, di man lang inubos iniwan pa sa banana leaf. Si Bryan,nung nagulat ako sa pag pukpok ni Lhes ng yelo sa pader, tumalsik pa yung saliva.. EEeeEEwww! hehehe... peace^_^

Totoong tao ako, di ako plastik
- my classmates and I are chatting while copying our lecture that Ms. Lea gave us. We were talking about our intermission number that we'll be on friday. While were writing, our teacher in Physics came. She's late again and we were shock when she cried. She scold us, uttering some words that di dapat sabihin. She didn't mura us, but there are some words that really hurts. She talks a lot, my ears are bleeding! She told us that she;s not plastik because her parents didn't teach them how to be one. ' bakit nyo ko, tiniraydor? anung kasalanan ko sa inyo?' , Ohh.. c'mon what about that. FYI were not plastic, were just expressing our feelings, and I don't see anything wrong with that. She said that someone told Ma'am Mhel, that minura daw nya kami, which is not true. We then headed to the office to clear the mess. we then found out that, there was a misunderstanding between Ma'am Mhel and . Ma'am Mhel didn't told her that minura nya kami, but she utter some bad words but It's not for us. Ewan ko sa kanya, she's taking things too seriously. Almost 2 hours kami sa loob ng guidance. And almost 2 hours din syang nakipag talo kay Ma'am Mhel. She keep insisting that WE are plastics. I don't really understand her. She's acting weird. After ng pangyayaring un, lagi na kaming nag aasaran ng totoong tao ako, di ako plastik ni yra.. actually papa print nga dapat kami ng t shirt na naka lagay sa likod eh yan eh.. haha!

NCAE
- Memorable din tong day na to. Nung kumuha kami ng ncae exam sa sto. rosario, ang aga namin dumating. Tapos sabi ni Ma'am Hermie be nice & behave daw kami, that's why, everytime na may makaka salubong kami, sinasabihan namin ng good morning, ginagaya namin yung tone ng good morning ni sir. kris. Tawa kami ng tawa habang nag lalakad. Tapos, as usual ang mga boys chiks nanaman ang hanap.
Si Bryan yung unang natapos mag exam, sunod si Mark, si Michael tapos ako.. last ata si Karlo o Lesley, di ko matandaan, churii :D

Inuman sa classroom
- nyahaha.. super memorable nitong araw na to sakin. Di ko talaga makakalimutan.
Birthday nun ni Kriska, so we decided na mag inuman nga. Since wala kaming ginagawa nung araw na yun, at busy din ang next subject teacher namin, simula nung bago mag lunch break, nagpa bili na kami ng d'bar tapos konting chicha, nestea para sa chaser. Ang saya namin nun, xe ang tataas ng tagay, wooooh sarap :D tapos di pa kami nakuntento, kasi wala pang tama. Nagpa bili pa kami ng isa pang bote, pero sa kalahatian ng d'bar, bumagsak na si Yra, ayun,, nag hanap ng mahihilataan. Humilata pa nga yun sa sahig tapos sa desk. Kulit nga, sunod naman na bumagsak ako. Natulog ako nun sa upuan, tapos binaba ni Michael nung cabiholes namin dun humiga si Yra. Bali, 5 kaming nag inum nung una.. Sila Michael, ako, kriska, ahmil tapos si yra. then, pumasok sila shiela and mara.
Takot pa kami nun, kala namin ma sususpend kami kasi nakarating yun sa office. naglolokohan nga kami nun eh, sabi namin pag nag kaalaman na, ituro namin na ang may pakana si Michael. hehehe :) Pero ayun,salamata nalang at di kami na suspend :))

Camping:
Putek.. saya namin dito. Overnight kami sa may, nakalimutan ko na yung place eh. Tapos ayun, activity kami. Dito din naganap yung bibuac namin, so instead na hazing bibuac daw ang itawag namin since di naman gaanong madugo ang mga gagawin ng 3rd year students.

Kinabahan ng bonggang bongga nung camping dahil iba ang place ng mga boys sa girls, e nasa tent kami yung mga teachers nasa loob ng house, e me bali balita na me baliw dun. Kaya naglabas ako ng balisong for self defense.
Tinawagan namin yung mga boys sa baba, kasi uberr kinakabahan na kami. Si telle nga di na mapakali eh. Kulit :D sinamahan nila kami siguro mga 1 hr din sila dun, mga 2am yun. then, nagpa iwan si michael nun, para may kasama kaming guy.
Tapos may nakita pa kami ni kriska na palaka na tumalon sa likod ni yra, kaya sa kalagitnaan ng gabi, tinanggal namin lahat ng gamit namin sa loob tapos pinagpag namin yung tent. Wala namang palaka. Tapos etong si kriska nag trip, nasa loob na ulit kami ng tent tapos biglang hinagis sakin yng pony tail ko, akala ko yun yung palaka. Kaya napatalon ako sa labas ng tent, ang layo ng inabot ko tapos napayakap pa ko kay michael. tawa kami ng tawa that night. Nag inuman din kami nun :p wiw saya!! Nanuod din kami ng .. totoootooot.. careless whisper, wushu bad!! hahahaha:D

Field trip:
- First, we went to Ocean Adventure in Subic.
We had our lunch and took alot of pictures as memorabilias. After that we watched those intelligent dolphins performed, the beautiful sea lion named Simba, and the rare animals of the wild. We all had a great time watching them and I've learned alot about the animals inside that park..

tapos takte.. etoh ang malupit. Panu kasi habang papunta na kami dun nga sa dolphin show, nag sasalita yung parang guide namin dun.. then since sira yung mic nya, ehdi mahina.nakapila kami lahat kasama mga parents & guardians... eh me maingay na guardian, ayaw tumahimik sa kakadakdak, pano namin maiintidihan yung sinasabi kung sige ang putak nya sa likod dba? nung sinabi na naming tumahimik abah, ang sabi ba naman `wag kau maingay simbahan toh` ehdi natawa kami, kaya ginaya namin yung sinasabi nya evrytym na me nag iingay.tapos ohh.. napikon ang loka, eh di naman namin alam n sya yung nag sasabi kaya nagulat kami nung bigla syang lumapit at nag iskandalo.. tinulak tulak pa ko taz dinuroduro kami in front of many people, etoh ang line nya `mga wala kayong modo noh? nag aaral ba kayo ha?? mga leche kayo, ` bwiset ang puta. sino kaya mas walang modo diba? saka pinakita nya lang na guilty sya sa mga sinbabi nya.. malay ba namin na sya yung nag sabi nun.. tae sya..mga bastos daw kami ahh.. sya nga, sinasaway na nung guide namin todo putak pa din sya, sino kaya mas low class..saka oo, i admit may mali din kami kasi sinagot ko sya pero di pabalang ahh, mahinahon akong sumagot habang nag ssentimyento sya na `ate ako lang ho ba?` grabe bbigyan ko sya ng award `first duroduro and tulak ever moron award` ohh diba? bongga, di sya ubra, samin ni xka.. pero etoh lang ahh, wala syang karapatan para duruin si bryan at itulak ... sabi nga ni bryan `duro ka ng duro, anu ko gagamba?`

JS Prom:

- we arrived at 5 pm sa school. But too bad, there were no people yet. Filipino time I guess. That's why, mommy marichu and my bestfriends took some pictures first. The program started 7pm. We had a candle lighting & garland ceremony. Then, our kutilyon. After that, I've read our class prophecy, the crowd enjoys the story that I've made. Hopefully my bestfriend Lesley is not mad at me anymore. Then, Matthew, Karlo & lesley also read our batch history, where some of our crazy memories were once again told.
After that, we had our dinner, It was a buffet type.
And the party begins.. by 9pm we started partying. Damn.. mga party animal ang dating namin (LOL) Feel ko nasa bar ako, hahaha.. so my friends are. We really enjoyed the night. Then, when the deejeeys played the songs na pang party like, pick it up, swiss boy, feel like dance & einstein, whoaaa... the 4th year boys were on the lead.
I will forever treasure that night. That is one of the most memorable and enjoyable night of my life. & I will always will^^,

Open forum:

- my classmates and I together with our adviser Sir. Kris had an open forum.
So everybody is free to tell their hidden feelings and feedbacks with the others.
It was my bestfriend Lesley who first burst his hidden thoughts. I already knew that he is mad at me. Yeah.. everybody's feedbacks were the same. There is something wrong with me that they couldn't figure out. I didn't help but to cry that time, lalo na when my bestfriend told me that he is sorry because, because of that he's always ignoring me. Unlike before, were really close, to the point that we were mistaken as COUPLES. We've ended our forum with thoughts full of apologies.
Then a group hug. We've forgiven each others mistakes.
I would like to thank Sir. Kris, for giving us the guts to face our problems and to forgive each others sins.
And, It was a relief. It is now easier to talk to them, especially to my bestfriend.
After that, while we were in the computer lab, we've reminisced our oh so good memories while looking our past highschool pictures. I was really happy that time, because after such a long month, I saw those smiles again.
After our class, we went to our graduation meeting. Since our parents are absent, we are the ones who attended the meeting. The funny thing is the father of our classmate and a good friend of mine too. He's very talkative and pesky.
After the meeting, we went to our classmate's house and we had a little celebration. Since everything is ok, we all agreed to have a drink. One bottle of d bar, 2 martys chicharon for the pulutan, and nestea for the chaser. We all had a great time.
After some rounds, mac became very stubborn na. He can't help his self to talk bout nonsense yet funny things. Telle and Les were the first ones who turned red.. Not that drunk, allergic lang siguro. After the inuman session, we've taken alot of pictures together, funny poses, seductive ones.. ahaha!

Sir. Bhads
Sino ba makakalimot sa kanya? Sir. Good morning sir! , gumorning hehehe..

Mga ma mimiss ko:

Yung halakhak ni bayang na nakita ko yung tonsil nya..
Yung malakas na pang aasar at pambabara ni Mark, lalo na yung mga pag gaya nya sa mga tawa :)
Yung ka sweetan ni Lesley saka yung ngiti nya:)
Yung malalalim at kay hirap sagutin na tanong ni Karlo.
Yung pag open up sakin ni matthew ng mga love problems nya.
Yung pagiging pasaway naming 4 na babae..
Syempre yung bonding naming lahat,
Yung pag damay nila sakin pag broken hearted ako,
Yung advice sakin ni Karlo, telle, yra & lesley :)
Yung mga times na nag oopen up sakin si Mac, michael & bryan bout sa family nila,
Yung discussion namin sa math ni Sir. Kris na alive na alive kaming lahat.
Syempre yung kwentuhan namin and sharing moments namin with sor. kris,
Yung pag ssound trip sa classroom habang gumagawa ng lecture.
Yung tinoyoang baboy sa canteen :D
Yung mga advice ni sir. kris samin :( saka kasi lagi syang nanjan pag kailangan namin sya.. napaka bait nyang adviser :) para na namin syang tatay. Para kaming isang pamilya, kami yung 10 anak nya!

Unforgettable phrases:

mahal mo? pa tattoo mo - mark
pag mahal mo, wag mo bbreak - karlo
nasisikli - bryan
eh anu naman kung 4th year jerusalem ka? batch 2009-2010 ka ba? - Lesley
aanhin pa ang damo, kung baboy naman ako? - Michael
aanhin pa ang gatsby, kung kalbo naman ako? - Bryan
eh anu naman kung GM ka? PRO ka ba? - Matthew
ang gulay na di nakakain, malamang sa farmville nakatanim - Mark
It's better to cheat, than to repeat - Micha
Basta materista, mukhang artista - Yra
Punit, mangiyak ngiyak - Bryan

Guys... ma mimiss ko kayo, habang ginagawa ko tong post ko na to.. napapaluha ako. Biruin nyo, ang dami daming nangyari satin. Di pa yan lahat.. baka kulangin pa ang isang buwan para ma type ko yun lahat. Thankful ako kasi, nakilala ko kayo. Marami tayong natutunan sa bawat isa. Marami na tayong napag daanan. Sobrang saya ko kasi naging part kayo ng buhay ko :)

first cut is the deepest

2010-04-02T21:31:00.003+08:00

This song is dedicated to all the people who fell in love for the first time and had their first and painful cut. I can barely relate in this song. You know naman the reason diba? I've been badly hurt, in my first love. Not because he cheated nor lied to me. But he died :( Siguro nga kaya lagi akong napupunta sa mga short term relationships kasi may hinahanap ako sa kanila na something. And I know that, It's wrong. Rainier is Rainier. Alam ko wala na kong magagawa. All I can do now is, to pray for his soul. Alam ko namang, he's always guiding me. I'm just too stubborn lang talaga. Coz I don't know how to chose. Kaya I always end up crying.

Last month, pinalaya ko na si Rainier. I know someday we'll see each other again. I'm so thankful coz naging malaking parte sya ng buhay ko. It's been 4 years since nung nawala sya, and now that mag cocollege na ko, I will always be proud kasi dumating sya sa buhay ko :)

KiMica love story :D

2010-04-02T20:30:00.004+08:00

Oh c'mon.. were so cute diba? nag picture picture kami kaninang umaga, coz of boredom na din. I had alot of things to tell bout Kimi kaya lang, I'm still lazy to post it :D sa sobrang dami ba naman.. Well, masyado syang loyal sakin. Yesterday nga, when my lola came to my room to get the laundry basket, naging abnormal nanaman si kimi. My granma was shocked coz bigla nalang syang kinagat ni Kimi. Over protected si Kimi when it comes to my belongings. For example, last monday. I was sleeping in my mom's room. It was 8 in the morning. Then my mom borrowed my leggings, then she took a bath. After doing her thing, she noticed that the leggings was missing. So she took a peep beneath her bed, in her surprise Kimi is the one who took my leggings. Then nung kukunin na ni mommy yung leggings ko, biglang nangulat nanaman si Kimi, sakmal effect. Kaya my mom was really shocked. I was too, coz napa sigaw talaga sya. Naalimpungatan nga ko :) Especially when I have visitors. She won't stop barking. I also remembered, she was very angry at my boyfriend. Then, my boyfriend always tease her pa that's why lalong nag wwild si Kimi whenever she see's him.
I know that Kimi is the only thing on earth that will love me more than I love myself :) I treated Kimi as my bestfriend, my sister at the same time. whenever I feel so lonely, she'll lie down on my lap or when I'm in bed, sasampa sya sa kama ko para bang she's telling me that, " I'm here to comfort you ate, ". I oh so love my Kimi. Even though sometimes she is really naughty and maharot.

-Also this morning,
she was trying to eat pastilyas-

3 incomplete days..

2010-03-31T20:40:00.007+08:00

This morning, alfred and I went to the photo studio and scanned his grandma's picture. His granny died last night, that's why were not able to see each other for 3 days. He went to manila to attend his grandma's burial.

I came late this morning. He waited for almost 2 hours, but still instead of leaving without seeing me, he waited for me to come. First time in history :D coz honestly he easily lose his patience when someone is keeping him waiting.

As usual.. I'm missing him. Missing his presence, his crazy ideas, naughtiness, jokes, hugs & kisses. I also miss our bonding moments, like playing defense of the ancients, then guitar playing, & singing together our favorite songs.

Time seems so slow whenever he's not around. Or maybe I'm just not sanay coz almost everyday were together. From morning till night. My day would be incomplete without him. But, 3 days isn't that long :) Besides, he's always texting me, updating me with the things that is happening to him. He's also texting my mom, reminding her to eat plenty of nutritious foods (coz my mom is 6 months pregnant). We are attached to each of our families. And it's a total relief you know, coz syempre our relationship is open to our families :D

I'm kinda sleepy though it's very early pa.
Woaaaahhh.. maybe I'll just take a nap first then, I may be online later.. Midnight I guess :p I'm going to text him pa.. I miss you Aped :)